He Said: The day when lovers celebrate, singles boycott

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Back in the 1920s, someone decided that it would be a great idea to capitalize on revenues from the tradition known as Valentine’s Day. Ever since then, the American male has been commercialized into buying roses, Hallmark Cards and Russell Stover Chocolates at ridiculously inflated prices. Either that or some dude thought it would be a great idea to make a sex holiday to benefit all of mankind.

In light of the latter explanation, it would seem to me that they should rename Valentine’s Day ‘National Get Into Your Lady’s Pants Day.’ For many of us men, especially for those in devoted relationships, Valentine’s Day is a very important event. For many, it might be the only day of the year you get laid. Even if you, like myself, are lucky enough to get some loving year round, Valentine’s Day still represents a guaranteed ace in the hole. I’ll be staying in with my girl with a bottle of wine and a delicious home cooked meal. That is if she doesn’t read this…

For single men, however, Valentine’s Day represents something entirely different. For many, it is a night of self-loathing. The only things keeping these men from hanging themselves is a subscription to porn sites, a handle of Jack Daniels and, of course, a picture of the girl he used to date in high school.

Fortunately, other single men decide to take a more opportunistic approach on Valentine’s Day. It is fact that Valentine’s Day is a good opportunity to seal the deal because for some reason, the only cure for a woman’s Valentine’s Day blues is a drunken hook-up. Maybe afterward you can both share a pint of Ben and Jerry’s together and watch ‘Ten Things I Hate About You’ after you stumble back from the Grape.

Is Valentine’s Day pointless? Probably yes. But regardless, it’s certainly responsible for creating most of the population born every November. So relax, sit back and reap the benefits of overpriced flowers and chocolate; at least for one night.

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