How do you go about finding a guy that’s not the norm on campus? You know the type – the guys who are conceited and think they’re all that, when they’re not.

-Looking for something different

My high school sweetheart and I broke up over the break. I am now just getting into the college dating scene. What can I do to meet someone nice?

-Hoping to meet someone new

A girl was quite forceful at a party the other night. She was quite insistent about trying to win me over, but it just turned me off even more. How can I meet someone that’s right for me instead of having situations like this?

-Not to be messed with

Sending anonymous letters to a (currently single) advice columnist is probably not the best idea. But maybe you can all find each other and meet. I think a club is in order – Singles Against Nasty Daters (SAND)!

And sand is what’s passing through the hourglass of time right now. (Ooh… that’s good – I think I’m ready to write my novel.) It’s apparent that many students have an allergic reaction to the average college stereotype, so the key is to pay attention. There are MANY students who don’t fit this stereotype, but you can’t expect them to come up to you and say “Hi, I’m Joe. I’m the anti-college student. Date me. Now.” It just doesn’t work that way.

The best way to meet people who aren’t the typical college student means it’s time to stop attending the usual suspects that “everyone who’s someone will be at” and find something that will allow you to meet new people who aren’t a streamlined, acclimated, assimilated college student. If there’s a club that does something you’re interested in, become an active member. If you do what the average college student does, you’re going to meet an entire room of walking stereotypes, ready to come off more predictable than an episode of “Frasier.”

Good luck, and if you’re having trouble in a couple of months, write in again and maybe we’ll start a partnership with Miss Cleo’s Dating Service.


A guy has asked me out on a date, and it’s someone I’m interested in. But his plans include taking me to the restaurant where my ex currently works. Advice?

-Dealing with an ex hex

Honesty is important here. Depending on how bad the breakup was, and how long it’s been since you’ve broken up with the ex, it would be in your favor to avoid the restaurant. The writing’s on the Specials board: he’ll see you there, dating someone new, at his place of work, and I’d put money on the fact that he’d think you’re trying to flaunt your new guy on him, and that’s just asking for it.

Explain the situation to the guy, and if he can’t understand why this is such a big deal, it’s probably to hit the escape button while you still aren’t knee deep in a relationship. If he really wants to go out with you, the location won’t make as much of a difference as the fact that you two are out on a date.


I am a tall woman and I have a crush on a shorter man. There’s a big enough difference that it makes me feel self-conscious. What can I do to get over this?

-Tall drink of water

Maybe it’s time for him to learn to wear high heels.

Nah – stilts are easier to get a guy to wear, unless you’re willing to get a height reduction operation.

Height is just another one of those superficial issues that really shouldn’t matter. If you’re self-conscious, you have to ask yourself whether this guy’s worth being able to break a neurosis or not. If you’re attracted to him, I wouldn’t worry about it. And hey – you can have your first kiss on the stairs, where he can be the same height! Guys date shorter girls all the time and don’t worry about it, and I don’t see why the roles aren’t able to be reversed. As the old phrasing goes, “It is better to have loved and lost…”


Have a question you want answered? E-mail joconnell@fairfieldmirror.com and he may answer your question in a future A Word of Advice. Questions are answered every Monday and Thursday. All questions answered in the column were submitted by college-age students and may have been edited for length and/or content.

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