We are in college right? Doesn’t that mean that we are supposed to be free to do as we please? We should be able to come home at any ridiculous hour, go out to bars and socialize with whomever we please, choose who we want to hang out with or don’t want to hang out with. Isn’t college supposed to be about being free and open to meeting new people, having new and exciting experiences and not having anyone or anything hold us back from doing so?
That’s what I thought when I came to Fairfield nearly four years ago. I was never allowed to go out (which was both my parents decision and my controlling and crazy ex-boyfriend). So I will admit, I went a little crazy freshman year. I had never really experienced real freedom, and I took that freedom to the fullest extent. I ran with it like an Olympian.
Hey, I was totally sheltered my entire life. What else would you expect from a girl who had only dated one guy and had never really drank in high school? I was destined to party as much as I could and do everything I wasn’t allowed to do at home. For the first three weeks of school, I didn’t answer any of my mother’s phone calls. That was a big mistake, because she decided to make a surprise visit while I was down the hall in some guy’s room.
But that’s what college is about for me. I wanted to be free to do what I wanted, when I wanted … regardless of whom I was hurting or disrespecting.
So then, why am I back in the same predicament as I was in high school when I proved to myself that having freedom was much more fun than being tied down by someone? It’s those damn college relationships that do it to you. You start out with a random hook-up and the next thing you know you are living together, sharing a dog and talking about “future” plans. How do I always get so stuck?
Fortunately, I’m not the only one. Several Fairfield students have serious relationships with someone at Fairfield or someone attending another school. These students all agree that the main disadvantage is that they, once again, have restrictions. It’s like having another parent, someone to tell you what you can and cannot do. And the majority of the time it sucks.
So why do we stay in these relationships when we could be out having fun and living for ourselves and not for someone else?
The answer: comfort.
Just knowing that I will have someone to be there for me when I am sick or when I have a flat tire (even though I know how to change a tire) gives me a sense of security.
But is it worth giving up your college years?
Nicole Orzo ’06, my very first friend at Fairfield, can read me like a book. She described my relationship perfectly. She said to me that if you find someone you absolutely want to be with then it’s worth it, but if you just need a boyfriend for the sake of not being alone it’s just dumb. She feels that right now is the time in our lives when we can go out and experience many different things, which we should all take advantage of. She made a really good point: she would personally rather be by herself than settle for something or someone she’s not 100 percent sure about. But if that 100 percent thing comes along, then maybe take a chance with it.
Ryan Maresca ’06 expressed his love for being a senior, single and living at the beach. He said there’s nothing better than being single in college, no girlfriend to hold you down, a new girl to “spit game” at every night, no fights and best of all, you can never get caught cheating if there’s no one to cheat on.
Sasha Steward ’06 had similar feelings. She feels that for the most part during your college years you don’t know what you want. Therefore, it’s better to keep your options open.
The main thing I worry about is if I don’t have the comfort, and I have the freedom, won’t the freedom of being single get old? And then, how can you be sure someone new will come along to fill the void?
I guess it’s a chance that some of us have to risk at this exciting point of change in our lives.
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