Here at The Mirror, we’re all about staying hip with the times. To that end, we’ve decided to recognize Galileo’s heliocentric theory, upgrade to VHS and recognize that video games actually constitute entertainment.
Seriously, this should have been the review for “Super Smash Brothers Brawl,” but with all the delays for that game, I’m starting to believe that Nintendo never actually made it. Currently, it is kind of a dull time period for video games, as we are in between big releases, though “Devil May Cry 4” and “Burnout: Paradise” are due out this week, and that’s a start.
But seeing as how this column is something of a first for the year, we’re going to start off safe and list those most-recent releases that you must play, though you might not have:
“Rock Band” and “Guitar Hero 3”
If you want to surround yourself with people, buy Harmonix’s “Rock Band” right now. Don’t buy a fake ID (See the news story p. 1), buy this game. I have never had so much fun playing a video game while I should have been studying.
Maybe it’s the $200 price tag that makes it such a rarity on campus, but “Rock Band,” regardless, draws college students to a dorm room like moths to a bug zapper. All I had to do was open my door, turn on the game and, through some sort of sorcery, I had 20 new friends who wanted to play.
When it comes to playing the game, “Rock Band” [RB] can deliver more than FedEx ever could in a day. A greatly expanded version of “Guitar Hero [GH],” where all you do is pretend to play music on pretend instruments, “Rock Band” features exceptional master-track recordings of great songs, along with a very detailed character-design system.
To See Gameplay of “Rock Band,” click here
Other video games with music themes, like “Guitar Hero 3,” pale in comparison to “Rock Band.” For those of you who don’t know, GH3 was produced by RedOctane, the guys who made the little plastic guitars for GH1 and 2; Harmonix was the company that made the software for the first two Guitar Heroes. As a result, there is nothing innovative about the gameplay for GH3, but simultaneously, I could break Rock Band’s peripherals by hurting their feelings.
“Rock Band” actually earned six stars for sheer force of amusement alone, but I took away one because I resent paying $200 for a drum set that I can break in less than a month, and half of one more because I can’t get that massive party/man smell out of my curtains.
GH3 felt like nothing more than a direct-to-video sequel for GH2. Because of its lack of development and songs that I actually liked, I’m going to punish it with a small number of decimals shaped like deer heads.
To See Gameplay of “Guitar Hero 3,” Click Here
“The Orange Box”
The Orange Box isn’t actually a game, it’s five. It’s “Half Life 2” and a pair of sequels in addition to “Team Fortress 2” and “Portal.”
As such, “The Orange Box” is a compilation of the Valve Corporation’s finest works. While I cannot stress how “Half Life” is a great single-player and “Team Fortress 2” is a fantastic multi-player, I only have so much space and as such I’ll focus on the most notable among all of these: “Portal.”
I wanted to say that “Portal” is self-explanatory, but I then realized that this would only be the case if it was called “Weird Prisoner-Girl Who Uses a Device that can Bend Space to Create Portals in Order to Escape From a Sadistic Artificial Intelligence.” Too bad it’s not; I probably could have stopped there.
Though simply put, “Portal,” in my mind, makes the best-ever use of the game’s physics code, the Source Engine; has logic puzzles that seem like a real-life simulation of “Brain Age”; and has some of the best dark comedy that any video game has had in a while.
Its one inadequacy: it’s too damn short. But it’s not a stand-alone title, so whatever.
To See Gameplay of “Portal,” Click here
“Mass Effect”
I won’t even make (lousy) jokes about this one. “Mass Effect,” made by BioWare, is a step up from one of the most well-put-together RPGs ever made, “Knights of the Old Republic,” which, come to think of it, was also made by BioWare.
There is no pre-determined plot, characters can choose what they want to do and whether they want to be good or evil.
Either way, things remain resolute. Whoever you choose to be, you acquire traveling companions who go along with you. If you want, you can warp their insignificant little lives or you can tag them. Whichever.
To See Gameplay for “Mass Effect,” Click Here
Gameplay is superb, dialogue is sharp, controls are relatively simple and there’s a back-story that seems encyclopedic. “Mass Effect” is not a one-shot; there are plans for two more sequels, and the ending to the first installment is more than satisfactory.
This game is a well-oiled machine. I began playing it again after I beat it once just to see what I could have done differently.
It’s going to be one of the greats. Much like how the original Xbox defined itself through “Halo,” Xbox 360 will define itself through “Mass Effect.”
Remember that.
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