When writing about embarrassing moments with your significant other, I needed to consult my housemates seeing as I haven’t had anything close to a significant other since high school. What we came up with is a list of what we consider universals that occur in nearly all college “relationships.”
First and foremost of all awkward moments is the misplaced expulsion of gas, or a fart. When exactly is it ok to “release?” What do you do if you fart at an inopportune time, because you were at the moment, “too relaxed?” My roommate has somewhat of a chronic problem. I thought it was bad when he’d wake me up because of a horrible “plop plop” sound. It was only later I could imagine the hell his girlfriend must go through.
Another awkward moment happens when you involve alcohol, and one of the two involved gets drunk-wasted. The less drunk-wasted one has to take responsibility. This can involve holding hair back, getting puked on, pissed on, constantly giving glasses water or crackers, putting them by the toilet, checking for a heartbeat, basically putting up with the other when they are at their worst
Getting walked in on during an intimate moment also seems to be a universal. Yeah it’s embarrassing, but usually not a problem. The question is how long the third party who walked in keeps watching. Then there is when you find yourself, for one reason or another unable to perform, or you perform in “record time” (By the way, it’s never ok, and it doesn’t happen to all guys). That can be embarrassing.
Possibly one of the most embarrassing moments though can be when you get back from La Salsa and, unable to pinch it, you end up using her facility. Then she needs to use the bathroom. Or you simply stunk it up so bad even closing the door don’t help. That’s pretty bad.
Embarrassing moments are inevitable; I have them all the time. I just don’t always remember them, kind of a defense mechanism. What are you gonna do?
On a more personal note, I’d like to make an announcement. It’s my birthday on the 11th. I’ll be in the Grape roughly that whole week seeing as how I’m very scared of the LSATs this Saturday, and afterward I’m going to try to forget it ever happened.
I’m convinced that it will be a week of funny, and embarrassing moments. Just always laugh it off.
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