Going to the bar is a staple of social interaction as a college student. It might seem like a beer-flowing free-for-all, but there are some unwritten guidelines that govern the bar culture.

The first rule is to blackout as soon as possible so you have a built-in excuse for whatever you do the rest of the night. Once you get into the bar, whether it be by a pass back or not, you obviously have to immediately get a drink because you can’t be caught dead without one.

Inevitably on the way, you will run into people you know, and the parade of kiss hellos, hugs and handshakes will begin. Even if we’ve seen the person an hour or two earlier, we still act as if we haven’t seen them in three years.

After navigating through that, you better get two drinks for yourself because there’s no way you’re going to get another the rest of the night, especially with all the girls lurking who get free drinks from the bartenders. Actually you might want to get three, so you can pour one all over John Glancy, who’ll be in the corner doing a hollow man.

Your drink-of-choice says a lot about who you are. If you order a vodka 180, you aren’t creative and just follow the crowd. If you order a Heineken Light, you are trying way too hard to be classy, especially if you used to wear flannel shirts. And if you order a Michelob Ultra, you are just looking for guys.

As an underclassman, the bar scene is more geared toward rap music and dancing. This sort of environment lends itself to the sloppy mid-bar make out. Eventually this move loses its novelty, but come senior year, it starts to make its come back. PDA is usually the worst, but if you are going to do it, don’t try to play it off, show it off. Take that kiss hello to the next level.

It’s interesting to see how things evolve from one generation to the next. Our parents were slugging brews while shooting pool and playing either foosball or darts. We now do that at happy hour or to pregame.

Hopefully my kids won’t be grinding at 5 o’clock because God only knows what they’ll be doing at 2 a.m.

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