After one last night of drunken splendor, we’ve all come to regret our lack of collegiate endeavors. As reality sets in and our cloudeChrd minds come to reason, we realize ‘what the hell were we thinking?’
All those times that we should have been studying our texts, we wasted our time having amazing sex. And as we realize how many classes we’ve skipped, we regret the decisions that led to us getting sick.
So we’ll trek over to DiMenna and find a good seat, all doped up on caffeine, nicotine and amphetamine treats. As we cram, our anxiety never seems to decrease, but that’s just our brain’s lack of serotonin release.
Test by test, we get further and further from the horrors of academia, and closer and closer to an encounter with Santa. But when it’s all over we’ll have to say goodbye to our friends for what seems like a very long time.
On Christmas Eve, we’ll pray for our teacher’s love and affection, and hope that each new grade that pops up in StagWeb doesn’t end in dejection. We hope that on Christmas morning we’ll wake to snow and lots of presents, not followed by our parent’s looks of horrid rejection.
Winter break is a great time for drinking and sleeping, as well as other activities which I must refrain from mentioning. Unfortunately, it can’t go on forever.
Soon enough the next semester will start, and for seniors the time will come for us to part. Even though this makes us all sad, we can always reflect on the good times we had.
As I end this, I’m sorry for upsetting the kids at the Beach just that one time. I hope you enjoyed both Tina’s and my weekly fall semester column, even if you would rather Stanczyk’s fashion. And even though I tend to use big words and reason, I hope you were enlightened and wish every one of you an amazing holiday season!
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