HE said: Grab a beer, spring is here

You know that sunny, late February/early March day when it’s 40 degrees out, but it feels warmer because our bodies have gotten used to the winter air? That’s when I know that spring is almost here.

Undoubtedly on that day, some joker will jump the gun and rock a T-shirt, shorts and flip-flops to class.

That’s a kid I don’t want to be friends with. I mean, everyone appreciates the slight increase in temperature, but this guy wants to make it about him. His statement outfit is pathetic.

We like to think of spring as a rebirth. A time for change. People clean their houses, flowers begin to bloom, and girls start wearing new and exciting things. That’s why my Italian friend likes to refer to spring as the re-emergence of the twins. No more sweatshirts, sweaters and jackets. It’s time for girls to start showing off their assets, and they get plenty of opportunities to do so. Cleavage is great, but girls, a la Wendy Peffercorn, know exactly what they’re doing.

With warm weather comes something that Fairfield students are very good at: day drinking. The townhouses or Lantern Point are where you want to be on Saturdays during the spring. It’s the perfect chance to socialize with the opposite sex, mainly because of the readily available alcohol.

I am convinced that most guys can not have a one-on-one conversation with a girl when they are sober; there just isn’t that much to say that will keep a girl’s attention. They don’t want to hear about your fantasy draft, how drunk you got last weekend or your workout regiment. Just imagine what would come out of your meathead friend’s mouth if he was sober.

Alcohol gives guys the courage to fraternize with females and it is their “out” when things inevitably go awry. When that lull in the convo hits, they finish their drink and quickly scan for the keg to avoid an extended silent pause. It’s no coincidence that the places where guys and girls most often associate with one another are bars and parties. Getting another drink or buying shots prolongs conversation.

With the rise in temperature also comes a care-free attitude. I’ll expect a lot of us to take some personal days and fine-tune the art of seducing women.