The week that we’d all been waiting for finally happened. I wish I had a crafty name for it like they do for every week of the college basketball season, but Bikini Week doesn’t have the same ring to it as Championship Week, Rivalry Week or Student Spirit Week.
Spring Break photo albums have been getting released at a rapid rate, and I can’t get enough. As if Spring Break wasn’t enough fun, we get to come home and freely look at naturally tanned babes wearing two-piece bathing suits. Why girls would be so willing to do this is beyond me. Do they want us to look? Call me creepy, but that’s like taking candy from a baby. Step one of us undressing you with our minds: complete.
I love how there’s a quasi order to these albums. There’s the sleeping in the airport shot, the arrival/empty room shot, followed by the laying-out/bikini shots. After that, it’s the getting-drunk and making-bad-decisions sequence followed by the day-after-detox while dining at famous restaurants and bars.
The stories behind Spring Break photos are almost even better than the images themselves. Sure, it’s a good picture if you see a fat, hairy, speedo-clad adult dancing at the beach with undergrads, but it’s better to use your photography for more useful purposes. When you ask a hot girl to take a picture of you and your boys and use that as your “in” to talk to her, then it’s a great picture – as long as you sealed the deal, of course. That’s a much more polite way to spark conversation than aggressively grinding on a girl’s backside.
How awkward is it for a guy on Spring Break to take pictures with his friends? Shirtless group shots seem a bit too much. Growing up, moms always force fed pictures upon us, and now all of a sudden your male friend wants to take some? Notice when you browse through a guy’s Facebook album he’ll only have 34 pictures. Here’s the thing, though: Guys secretly love getting their picture taken, but make fun of other guys for getting in them.
We should just declare today a Facebook holiday. No one go to class and just creep all day.
Leave a Reply