It’s a well-known fact that the worst thing you can do when intoxicated is to either dial or text under the influence. Although I too have contributed to this societal ailment, I offer you some words of wisdom to make sure you don’t fall victim to making a drunken 3 a.m. phone call of your own.
First, make sure to always surround yourself with good company. When preoccupied, cell phones rarely make it out of pocket. Forgotten and alone it doesn’t have the capacity to ruin your evening and/or next morning. Either that or just leave the damned thing in the charger.
When drunken students are left to their own devices, however, they may be tempted to use their phones as a weapon. While intoxicated I have thrown my phone at many a friend. I have also smashed screens, allotting multiple replacements. I have also managed to lose the battery. That’s right, not the whole phone: just the battery. Don’t ask, seriously.
Then there is drinking and texting while intoxicated. A DWI or TWI is truly the only thing worse than throwing a cell phone and destroying it.
The worst person to dial or text short of your mother, relatives and coworkers is an ex; unless that is if she’s drunk, willing and in walking distance.
My only advice: just make sure you clear out your inbox and outbox before you see your current girlfriend the next day.
It would seem that the only good thing that can come out of a drunken text is a booty call. The mass text feature is great for this. With only a few clicks you can have a harem of drunk girls at your doorstep within a matter of minutes.
In sum, not only can cell phones act as projectiles but their electronic capabilities may render your pride, self esteem and love life obsolete with one click of that green button.
So next time you’re wasted and you have nothing to do, don’t drink and dial unless you’re sure the juice is worth the squeeze.
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