Picture this. 5:30 p.m. on a Thursday, the Halloween party was that night at my friend’s house and I had no costume. Then it hit me. I went to CVS, bought a bottle and a box of depends. I took a white undershirt and wrote “Baby Gut” on it. I showed up at the party as a giant toddler, and went around to all the ladies asking, “are you my mommy?”
Halloween is a time for fun and debauchery. You get to dress up, act like an idiot and absolutely best of all, there’re hundreds of girls dressed like cats, devils, and girls of low moral caliber, (but my favorite of course is Britney Spears).
I suggest though, you make your costume as original as possible. I must admit, at the Halloween party at the Grape there were several mentionable costumes, including weekend at Bernie’s (Booby Trap), an awesome Bert and Ernie and by far the best I’ve ever seen or heard of, six girls with shower rings around them, with red curtains hanging down. Then they got into Beirut formation, along with two big Styrofoam balls and they drank a beer whenever someone sunk one.
But Halloween isn’t all fun and games, be very aware because there are a few bad apples out there who engage in the negative practice of pranking. This can include anything from toilet paper to eggs, to soapy windows, the hotfoot (paper bag with dog poop in it on a doorstep set on fire), to liquid soap in the back of a toilet (it bubbles over lots), saran wrap over the toilet seat, and any other number of not very nice things. I suggest everyone be on the lookout for such activity.
The past three years of Halloween here have been great. I must say that when you look like me, you look forward to every opportunity you can to wear a mask.
Final thoughts: Ladies, the less you wear the better. If you can rock that black or even better skin colored leotard as a part of your costume, go for it. Go exotic. Something different than the regular low-cut jeans or black pants and hoochie shirts you regularly wear. The more revealing the better, less is always more. Guys, remember to treat them like they’re lucky that you’re bothering to talk to them and the rest will fall into place.
Fortunes. Freshmen: you’ll get written up while in costume. Sophomores: You’ll get very sick in costume. Juniors: You whether in costume or not. Seniors: Last Halloween, make it count.
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