Let me start with a few statements: I am a guy. I have not seen the other ‘High School Musical’ movies. I cannot call myself a fan, but if I did, I’d have to retract my first statement. Also, if the blistering headache I have that started after I left the theater is any indication, it is possible that ‘High School Musical 3: Senior Year’ causes migraines.
Two weeks ago, an article ran in this very publication cried out against the hate that ‘HSM,’ as I will call it from now on, has endured, calling the series romantic movies that appealed to everyone who went through the hardships of high school, and that secretly, everybody loves them. With respect to Melissa Mann, the author of said article, I sincerely hope I am not the only one who doesn’t like ‘HSM.’
This is a befuddled movie strung loosely together by musical numbers. Amazingly, it seems the plot only exists to introduce the audience to the next song. Most good musicals can blend the songs together with the plot, or if that is impossible, draw attention to the fact for a good laugh. This movie could do neither.
Not to mention the bizarre notion of musicals to begin with. If I had broken out into song in the cafeteria at my high school, like the characters in the film, I would no longer have sensation in my head. Which would be welcome now, given the intense headache I still have which may or may not have been caused by ‘HSM.’
The characters are one dimensional, the humor is scarce and hard to find within the half-baked plot, it is so unrealistic it would make Walt Disney himself blush, and the songs sounded like the recycled, boring, unimaginative songs that Britney Spears or the Jessica Simpson might sing.
The acting, oh, please, don’t get me started on the acting. All I will say is that there could have been better performances if actual high school students acted. And it seemed as if they only had two emotions: unrealistically happy and unbearably mopey. Also, if you want to see better acting, I might suggest a soap opera. Great, you got me started.
Zac Efron, the prince of Disney franchise, has used his ‘HSM’ fame to become an international star. I failed to see why after watching this movie. When his face first comes on screen, he’s sweaty, grimacing, about extremely close to the camera, and instead of seeing that teenage hunk I’ve heard about, all I could see was Gollum.
If Efron has become the new archetype of cool in this society, I’m shipping my self to Fiji. He is not only an Emo in this film but a whiny Emo. He constantly poses for the camera, even when not dancing, as if to say, ‘Look at me!’ And when he has a problem, he sings and dances. I hope parents won’t take their impressionable young boys to see this movie, because the epitome of cool might shift from images of James Dean, Marlon Brando, Kurt Cobain and John Lennon to the image of that attention seeking, cry about your problems, overly emotional pretty boy that Efron represents.
I literally have nothing good to say about this movie, and it’s not for lack of trying. I remember thinking that Ashley Tisdale played annoying very well. Then she got too annoying. Apparently the two main characters share a kiss for the first time in the series. But it is so unremarkable that it may as well not have happened. I could have sworn that the character Ryan Evans, played by Lucas Grabeel, was openly gay, which I thought was admiringly progressive for a Disney movie. But at the end, it’s ambiguous if he is or not.
And unfortunately, despite the high praise it has gotten from fans, I did not find any part of this movie entertaining.
If you have thought about seeing this movie, please reconsider. Movies like this aren’t only detrimental to society, but they also kill brain cells and makes anybody who sees them loose 10 IQ points. It is incomprehensible that writing like Shakespeare and writing like this can coexist without mass rioting. It distresses me to no end that this was the top box office performer last weekend. I do not plan on seeing the previous two movies because I enjoy thinking.
And for those who consider this guilty pleasure, maybe you should feel guilty about liking it.
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