Want to go on a long strange journey? And no, I am not talking about an acid trip. I am talking about a walk through the randomness that is my mind?
-You know what I have always wondered? When Jesus Christ bangs his leg into something, does he go, “Me. Oh me did that *bleepin* kill.” Sticking with Jesus theme, Ill bet you a million dollars when all the kids in Nazareth were picking teams for anything, Jesus was always the first pick. Lets be realistic if you were choosing sides for Wiffleball, would you go with Akbar, who has a nasty slider, or Jesus the Son of God?
– They need to make a modern day version of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. How funny would it be to hear “Cowabunga dude, lets go get some pizza!!” be replaced with, “Yo dawg, I just got hooked up with this phat twenty sack from this bitch I have been sweatin’?”
– There are certain things that flat out irritate me – Guys who wear sneakers with khakis, or even worse, sneakers with khakis and a button-down shirt. And then there are girls who talk about their ex-boyfriends… Ex, as in, not any more.
Just to make this madness end as quickly as possible.
-The other day in the gym this girl was complaining that her parents refused to pay for her to fly first class on her spring break trip to Cancun. I was sitting on the stationary bike next to her and I really wanted to tell her that the last trip that I went on courtesy of my parents was when I dropped the “F” word at the dinner table and my Dad sent me flying half way across the room. Come to think of it, I traveled so far on that one that I probably should have gotten a bag of peanuts.
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