Fairfield was deeply affected by last week’s tragedy: loss of access to AOL’s Instant Messenger. Most students encountered the message “You are attempting to sign on again too soon. Please try again later.”
This claim is outrageous. The true AIM user knows of no such thing as signing on “too soon” after their last session. Fairfield University has given new meaning to the term “online junkie.”
People can try to say they go online to keep in touch with family or friends from home, but they’re just lying to themselves. Instant Messenger is a faceless, and therefore easy, way to pimp and/or stalk.
Avid AIM users may be shaking their heads in disagreement though deep down they know the real deal. The “message received” sound can be heard as a spasmodic symphony down many a dorm-room hallway. Messages such as “wanna chill tonight” or “what are you up to later” are cover-ups for “let’s get together just me and you” or “please come over ASAP.”
Stalking is likewise a popular sport of online activity. Users can delight in the fact that their spiteful, or sometimes overly-sexual, comments are of an unknown origin to their recipient. Some users even find strange pleasure in frightened IMs such as “who is this?? What do you want from me??”
Surely, most individuals will reject the stalking claim, though not one user can dismiss the fact that they have actually checked someone’s profile to see if its been updated. The seemingly most popular section to check is “marital status.” Oddly enough, this fact ties directly into the use of AIM as “pimp-city.” Hmmm…
Through the defense mechanism of denial, AIM users can deny both pimping and stalking theories, but they may be the notorious leavers of the “away message.” The “away message” can sometimes be paragraphs long, not pertaining to any information of the user actually being “away,” but merely illustrating the lyrical craftiness of the person behind the screen name. These messages stay up for hours, though most students here prefer leaving them up for days.
AIM users can breathe an ever thankful sigh of relief this week as their buddy list greets them as opposed to that pesky, annoying message. This turkey day you all know what you’re really thankful for, Fairfield… AOL’s Instant Messenger.
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