Everyone wants to bash Barone and the dubious claim that the food served there is indeed of suitable quality for human consumption. However, what gets lost in the entire rabble is what Barone actually does right.

Our simple and underrated cafeteria is actually quite technologically advanced. For instance, have you ever noticed the cereal dispensers? You have probably used them at least once, unless you are one of those cereal-hating trolls who lurks under highway overpasses, clinging to the hope that a billy goat will attempt to cross so you can make a quick buck.

The circular, gear-like devices, which allow us to access some of our favorite cereals, are actually at the pinnacle of cereal dispensing technology. Not only do they fill our bowls with delicious breakfast food, but they also grind it up.

In ideal conditions, these machines will reduce cereal to a fine, silt-like substance. By grinding up large pieces of cereal into powder, these machines reduce the risk of choking, conserve energy normally spent chewing, and render spoons obsolete.

Additionally, they eliminated one of the greatest enemies of cereal eaters worldwide: sogginess. Microscopic cereal particles are not large enough to absorb milk and become soft and mushy, so you can enjoy your cereal’s crunch no matter how long ago you fill the bowl with milk. The mad dash back to the table in order to finish off the cereal before it becomes stomach-churning slop is now part of the past.

So, the next time you’re in Barone, instead of lamenting over the rock-hard hamburgers, the mind-bending discrepancy between food descriptions and taste, or the rumored use of laxatives, be sure to stop by the cereal section and take time to appreciate what they do right.

Note: This article is solely for entertainment purposes.

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