Hello, college. Goodbye to the major drag of having parents, siblings, and extended family around. We are thrown into this Utopian situation where privacy is second nature. Or so we think. This newfound freedom that living away inevitably brings is dramatically overestimated.

See, mishaps not only can, but will occur. You’re around for a little while and get to know someone. Awesome. To top it all off the two of you live a heartbeat away from each other. Complete paradise. Then, the weekend comes, and you get slightly drunk. (Everyone knows drunkenness leads not only to regretted behavior, (oh boy) but in extreme cases, to the loss of control of the stomach or the bladder.) Nearly every weekend freshman year stories about this getting in the way of two people becomes the latest gossip.

This is nothing. Discussing blunders of college dating would not be complete without roommates. No matter what there are awkward moments. Roommates leave for the night. That inevitable, irresistible eavesdropping that goes on. And we call this privacy?!? I think I might have heard it all, but some stories still stand out. A dear friend, who unfortunately must remain nameless, was walked in on wearing socks. (Be sure to place the emphasis on socks.) It is a shame that these stories become second nature here in college and that our shock value lessens with each new one this sort of story is commonplace by senior year.

Parents are stressful enough. Add to the mix when they call for your roommate on Sunday morning when he or she hasn’t yet returned from the night before. What do you do? Well, it’s inevitable that you freeze, tell some stupid lie, and they figure it out anyway. Or, how about when they call and you are just chilling with your significant other, and have to act like it’s a normal conversation.

Parents calling are never quite as scary as parents visiting. We’ve all crept around and pretended to be at breakfast when roommates’ parents have visited, and we’ve also experienced it from the other angle-just lying about where our roommates went on Saturday morning. I know many of our parents are from the generation of hippies, and believe in “free love,” but they are still our parents, and it’s still creepy.

So, you think college is the perfect dating atmosphere? Think again. I guess they paved paradise and put up a parking lot.

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