In elementary school, boys had cooties. By the eighth grade, we went to the movies in co-ed groups of 20, mapping out who everyone would sit next to while our parents drove us to the theater. In high school we dated, but for superficial reasons (i.e. quarterback of the football team.) We’ve always had relationships with guys, but were we ever really friends with them? The boys who chased us around the playground did it because they liked us, not because they wanted us to play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
In “When Harry Met Sally,” Harry nails it when he says, “Men and women can’t be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.” But it doesn’t have to be sex; it can be the tiniest hint of physical attraction. That’s why there are only three instances in which guys and girls can be friends.
He is the boyfriend of your girlfriend. You and this guy are not attracted to one another because he’s dating your friend. He asks your advice on Christmas presents and Valentine’s Day plans, he’ll call you if she’s not picking up her phone, and he might set you up with his roommate. If the relationship ends, so does your friendship with him. If it doesn’t, prepare to endure the cold shoulder.
He’s such a “nice guy.” When a girl describes a guy as “really nice” or “absolutely hilarious,” she’s saying she would never hook up with him. If, however, said girl gets too drunk and goes home with her “nice friend,” I bet they won’t be just friends in the morning.
Turns out, he’s gay. You’ve known Pete your whole life. You went to the same schools, hung out with the same people, and told each other everything. He took you to senior prom and didn’t try to make a move at the after-party (warning #1). When it was time to leave for college, you both cried your eyes out (warning #2). After one semester at school, Pete dropped the bomb on you. Don’t worry, your friendship will remain intact. It’s safe to assume that Pete was never attracted to you, and he definitely never will be.
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