When it comes to the touchy subject of virginity, all anyone ever cares to talk about is the pressure on young women in today’s society. While that pressure is there and valid, let’s save it for another time. The focus right now is on the guys because, let’s be honest, they need a moment.
Today’s youth is overwhelmed with sexuality in the media. Most of what we see is the sexualization of women, objectification of women, and pressure on women. But notice that for every instance of each of those things, there is the exact amount of pressure for men – from Calvin Klein ads and celebrity gossip to raunchy teen comedies and chatter in every dorm across the globe.
In America, the majority of male high school seniors graduate having lost their virginity during high school, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a non-profit organization that researches and teaches about sexual and reproductive health. Of those that go off to college as virgins, almost all of them lose their virginity during the first year at school. And in too many of these instances, it’s because of the male virginity complex.
You are a guy; therefore, you must be having sex. If you are not, you’re not a man.
What a joke.
Not everyone is doing it, but in a world where guys are measured by how fit they are and how many girls they can score, it seems like it doesn’t matter that not everyone is doing it. Even on this campus, there are young men who feel the pressure. The many I have spoken with are not ready to take that very personal step, but they aren’t ready to face the ridicule of being a “prude.” Such thinking leads many guys, at Fairfield and across the country, to engage in other sexual acts simply to fit in.
That said, can we step back for a second and just look at how skewed this is? Why are we telling our boys that in order to be considered a man, they have to be having sex before they can drive a car? It’s in books. It’s in movies. It’s in everyday conversation. It’s just a social myth – manhood is not determined by sexual activity.
Society has a way of bending the rules for each sex. The only equality is that women and men have it equally as difficult in the realm of sexuality. For guys, being a virgin is some sort of stigma. It’s something that is laughed at. A male virgin isn’t considered a man in this day and age. Personally, I don’t think anyone’s sex life can determine that. It’s time to give guys a break.
Virginity is possibly one of the most intimate aspects of an individual’s sex life. Think about your own experiences for a moment. Pressure kills! Guys, having sex doesn’t make you a man. You already are one. Ditch what you’re being fed and do it your way – what is right for you and who you are with.
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