Author Cary May

Brendan has been attending college for over six years, in which time he has seen his school grades plummet from all A's to C's and F's. He has attended five different colleges, lost important relationships, spent extended periods of time in complete isolation, been diagnosed with learning disabilities, developed drug addictions, and felt moments of heightened motivation followed by overwhelming desperation.

The Fairfield University student body can be divided into two distinct categories: those who frequent Penny's II on Blackrock Turnpike, and those who prefer the Athena Diner in Southport. I started my career at Fairfield as a Penny's girl, but after waiting twenty-five minutes for cinnamon toast and countless cups of forgotten tea, I tried the Athena on a whim and have not looked back since.

Editor's note: Mike Theile wonders what Jerry Seinfeld would say if he visited Fairfield. What's the deal with all the athletic fields here? Just because your school is named Fairfield, doesn't mean you need to have all these fields. If the school was named Fairfactory, I don't think you would have factories all over the campus! What's the deal with Lucas the Stag? Is it really necessary? Nothing says welcome to Fairfield University, like a rotting deer carcass.

Chris Huff '04 has always had an affinity for the open sea. Huff can be quite entertaining when his drinks have been spiked, or he has temporarily lost his mind coding HTML. This photo was taken after Huff returned from a perilous mission to the Amazon, in search of house plants for his roommate, Certo.

Students often enter college with the idea that the days of roll call are finally over and in higher education your grade is based on more concrete requirements, like two or three exams or papers each semester. These students might be surprised when many Fairfield University attendance and participation policies are introduced in the beginning of the semester.

Brendan has been attending college for over six years, in which time he has seen his school grades plummet from all A's to C's and F's. He has attended five different colleges, lost important relationships, spent extended periods of time in complete isolation, been diagnosed with learning disabilities, developed drug addictions, and felt moments of heightened motivation followed by overwhelming desperation.

Woody Allen once said "at least half the part of being successful is already done by showing up." Fairfield U students face a variety of attendance policies which reward them for simply showing up to class rather than for how much they actually know. Take a look at any one of a student's many syllabi and you will probably notice the different policies: attendance and participation is 10 percent of your final grade; attendance and participation will count as a test grade; if you miss more than three classes the final grade will drop; participation will be counted by keeping a written record of the amount of times you answer questions in class.

On the seventh day God rested. What many don't know is that on the eighth day the Almighty created the Fairfield University social scene and little has changed since. For decades, Fairfield University students have herded into the all-to familiar haunts of beach parties and the SeaGrape, equipped with little more than a fistful of jukebox money and an unwavering desire to mix up their evenings with just the right amount of binge drinking and debauchery that the average person is able to forget by the next day.

Freshmen, what I am about to say may seem harsh, but c'est la vie: in four years, you will be able to count the number of people from high school that you hang out with or even talk to on one hand. Most of these relationships will not end with a big argument or a major crisis, but rather through apathy and distance.