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HE said: The dos and don’ts of the drunken dial

It's pathetic, desperate and, at times, incomprehensible, but I'll tell you what- it's worth it. Making a drunk dial or sending a drunk text to a qualified female isn't the worst thing in the world. We've all done it, and most of us will continue to do it while trying to play it off as something other than a booty call, but that's OK.
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HE said: Valentine’s Day: Keep it simple

Valentine's Day is the biggest hoax of all time. Screw suffrage, this is women's greatest accomplishment yet. They picked an arbitrary day and said that each year they won't put out unless men pretend to care about them and buy them all sorts of nonsense gifts.
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Familiar name heads Frager’s recruiting class

The top recruit for the women's basketball team next season bears a household name to fans of college athletics. Sarah Paulus, the headliner of Joe Frager's first recruiting class as the head coach, will become the seventh sibling in her family to play a college-level sport.
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HE said: The Super Bowl: It’s about how you play the pregame

The Super Bowl is a microcosm of America. It's not just a game, it's an event. If there are two things that define Americans, it's being fat and having an obsession with celebrities. The Super Bowl puts these together like nachos and cheese. Speaking of which, people break the bank to buy ungodly amounts of chips, dip and beer to be devoured while sitting on a couch and watching football.
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Weekend warriors

Sunday is no longer a day of rest, at least for one college senior. After living the college life for three consecutive nights, John Zanzarella '08 actually sets his alarm so he can wake up in time to get to the Rec Plex on Sunday to participate in intramurals.
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HE said: Deal-breakers: Lock it up, before they lock you up

There are certain things about the opposite sex that really bother me. Surprised? I didn't think so. Let's be serious though, everybody has pet peeves. We're all superficial to a degree, but some of us more so than others. They say don't judge a book by its cover, but we all do just that and then some.
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HE said: New Year’s resolutions: Like nailing Jell-O to a tree

We are already deep into January so I'm sure that everybody has already gone back on their New Year's resolutions. Well, everybody except my brother Pat, whose rather lofty resolution every year is to not die. It's gotten to the point where everyone knows that New Year's resolutions don't last, so no one takes them seriously.
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HE said: Our grown-up Christmas lists

After 11 months of waiting, the Christmas season is finally here, so it's time to be nice to the people we can't stand all year. We tell teachers how much we've learned and the strides that we've made, all in the hopes that they'll give us a better grade.
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HE said

Growing up pushing the shopping cart, playing "Cruisin' USA" and riding go-carts got us all excited for a lifetime of driving. Driving was so exhilarating for that first week after we got our licenses. We'd offer to drive anywhere because it was such a thrill.Now it's gotten to the point where I'm convinced that, last year, one of my housemates only drove his car home and back, and another took a two-month driving hiatus, just leaving his car parked in front of someone else's townhouse.