Dear Miss Molly,
I’m a freshman girl and I really like Fairfield so far but there are a few upperclassman guys who “creep” on me like they’re animals and I’m their prey. It makes me feel super uncomfortable … I’m not interested in their advances but I don’t want to be mean about it, what should I do?
Thanks But No Thanks
Dear Thanks But No Thanks,
I’m sorry to hear about your predicament, but I’m also a little confused. For starters, if boys are making sexual advances that you do not approve of, we have a big problem. It is not OK in any way, shape, or form for a male to do anything to you that is not warranted. If you find this happening on more than one occasion, I suggest you consult more help than my column. As written in a previous issue, in her piece “Consent is not enough: aspire for enthusiasm,” Danica Ceballos discussed the very relevant topic of consent versus enthusiasm. Danica explains the idea that some sexual encounters, although not considered rape, are not necessarily enthusiastically agreed upon. Furthermore, you should have no fear of ever being mean to a boy. Its very simple, all you have to say is no. The word no is not mean. Most of the time, if you just say no, he will get the picture loud and clear. Don’t be a tease and go along with something that you do not want to do. If he continues to take advances after you’ve said no, that is when you sincerely have a problem. You need to start using your voice and not be afraid of how it is received. If a guy is going to stop talking to you and call you mean for not wanting to hookup with him, he probably isn’t worth your time anyway. I know it can be intimidating shutting down an older guy, but he will respect you for using your voice. If he doesn’t then it’s his loss, not yours.