Dear Miss Molly,
As I have grown up, I find that me and my mom are fighting a lot. I know deep down we are really close, but we seem to be butting heads lately. She tries to control everything I do. I love her so much, but how do I respectfully tell her to let me be my own person?
Mommy’s girl at heart
Dear Mommy’s girl at heart,
We are often the meanest to the people we care about the most. As surprising as this might sound, you and your mom are probably fighting because you are more similar than you think. The good thing is that you realize your relationship is struggling and you want to fix it.
Remember how lucky you are to have mother who cares enough to check up on you. The only reason your mom is being controlling is because she loves you so much and only wants the best for you. However, you are an individual and as an adult deserve to make decisions and mistakes of your own.
Communication is vital if you want to mend your differences. Make sure you tell your mom how much you love and respect her and then tell her the things that are bothering you. I promise you she will understand. If you don’t go into the conversation with a fighting attitude, it won’t end in a fight.
When in doubt, write it out. Send your mom a letter or email expressing your concerns. Writing provides a way to express feelings that might otherwise be held in.
Whatever you do, make sure you fix your relationship. You are so incredibly blessed to have a mother who is healthy and loving enough to worry about you; it may be shocking to you how many people on this campus don’t have this privilege. You can never overuse the phrase “I love you.”
Your mom loves you unconditionally, you will find your friendship again.
Give the song “Unconditionally” on Katy Perry’s new album a listen. Perry explains that this song isn’t just talking about romantic love, but a love between families, a love that can never be broken.