I have a problem; I like my best friend’s boyfriend. I have liked him since freshman year. In fact I liked him before my friend even met him and we flirted all the time. I actually thought he liked me too. They had a class together though and they started hanging out and now they are together. When I see him he still flirts with me and it brings back those feelings. I don’t want to jeopardize my friendship, but I can’t help how I feel.

Thanks,

Torn

Dear Torn,

There is no easy answer to your problem because matters of the heart are always complicated and the answers never seem to make you feel totally happy.  Having said that, I am going to tell you what I think the “right” answer is.  Friends are priceless and you are correct that acting on your feelings could jeopardize that relationship.  It is best to put these feelings aside since they are together for now.  He can still be your friend, and that is certainly better than nothing.  No one knows what will happen down the road.  They may realize that they are better as just friends or just part ways when you graduate.  Fate could bring you together and if the feelings are still there you can then act on them.  If this happens, there will be no baggage because you did not come between them previously.

On the other hand, maybe their relationship will grow stronger and they may stay together.  In the meantime, you may meet your perfect guy who you would have missed out on while pining away on your friend’s boyfriend.  Whatever does happen, you are better for taking the high road and not betraying your friend.  As I said, it probably isn’t the answer you wanted, but I know you will feel better as you look back on it.

– Dee

Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment only. The author is a student, not a licensed therapist, and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice. The views expressed are the author’s and are not necessarily shared by The Mirror or its staff.

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