Dear Dee,
I recently found out that my good friend’s girlfriend cheated on him. I really want to let him know what she did, but I am afraid if I tell him he will get hurt or, worse, defend her and not talk to me anymore. He knows I am not a big fan of hers, so he will think I am just trying to break them up. I was thinking about telling her that she needs to confess. What do you think?
Oh dear. It seems you’ve landed yourself a spot as the monkey in the middle, which we all know, is the WORST game. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do. Although it may feel like the right thing to do is tell your friend, you’re right that he’d probably take her side at first because who wants to believe someone they love has betrayed their trust? On the other hand, it isn’t fair to just sit by and let it happen.
Because you seem like a caring, honest person, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. It’s called, “the 24 hour rule.” Although you can’t force his girlfriend to fess up and tell your friend, you can tell her that it isn’t right that she cheated on him, and if she doesn’t confess in a day (aka 24 hours), you are going to tell him. That way, it gives her a chance to be honest and at the same time, it doesn’t look like the minute you found out you ran to tell him merely because you don’t exactly like her.
No matter what happens, whether she tells him, or you tell him, you will be the one he comes to when he needs a shoulder to cry on…or someone to fix the wall he punched…whatever guys do.
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