It is an epidemic. It happens every night all across the world. People drink and then they get behind their phones and dial away. They rapidly send text messages and call half of their phone book. They wake up the next morning and ask themselves why they even bothered to bring their phone out with them last night.

A slew of texts from simple “hellos” to “what are you up to?” to nonsensical drunken slurs are a common sight for most college students when they roll over in bed the next morning to see the damage they’ve done. It may not be as job ending or potentially life threatening as a real DUI but it can certainly hurt your pride for the next 24 hours, or the next time you see the person in class. For those of you who use the DUI in an attempt to find a companion for the night, Barney Stinson of How I Met Your Mother says it best, “On a booty call, you barely even have to talk. Around 9 p.m. you say, “Hey baby, it’s Barney. You busy tonight? Sweet. See you in half an hour? Can’t wait.” But the later it gets, the fewer words you need. [12:23 a.m.]: “Barney. Busy? Sweet.” And by 3 a.m., he simply sends a “?”

Now for those of you who find other uses for DUI, besides booty calls, here are a few things to keep in mind. For starters just don’t do drunk dial and text. That being said, my iPhone proves it is most certainly better at DUI then Alex’s Blackberry from personal experience. A phone call always seems slightly more reasonable then a text. But the worst thing you can do is leave a voice mail. Chances are you will say something and might not even remember what you said. A text you can always read in the morning. A voice mail you will simply see that you had a phone conversation that was about 30 seconds to a minute long and be left wondering what could have transpired.

The real trick is how you play it off the next day. You have a few different options. Ignore it happened, confront it when you wake up, or just repeat the same act the next night.

The truth behind the matter is that you can’t really apologize for a drunk text or a drunk dial because it’s not really something you can explain besides “um I drank and thought it was a good idea.” Not to mention that all of us with BlackBerrys and iPhones can email, tweet, Facebook and check in to places we wouldn’t want people knowing we we’re at. What once was just DUI has become a plethora of other drunken phone aided crimes against friends and people you haven’t talked to in years.

Oh and BlackBerry Girl knows a DUI is welcome from her anytime, and last Saturday I just wanted to watch the stars, obviously. (Not Awkward)

P.S. iPhone users, we are clearly better cause the iPhone has a great auto correct so drunk texts are nearly always spelled properly unlike most of my Mirror articles.

Sent From My iPhone

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