Dancing and fist pumping with one hand and BBMing with the other is never to be considered dancing, no matter what Blackberry girl tells you. Before any of you turn to her as an authority of dancing I’ll let you in on a secret that those of us unfortunate enough to spend time at The Grape only know, that she has yet to master the preppy guido routine, and it shows on the dance floor. That being said, lets get down to the fact at hand: Dancing
Whether at a dance, a Town House party, a Beach House or the Grape. There is going to be Taio Cruz’s ”Dynamite” playing and girls are going to be dancing in a group together. Don’t ask me why, but it’s what girls do they clump together and dance so suggestively that the group of guys standing around the dance floor can’t help but watch.
Breaking into that pack of girls dancing can be more difficult than walking up to a girl and asking her to go on a date with you. So while you are waiting for a viable opening to approach you have two options.
One is to dance or the other is to stand in the middle of the dance floor with a group of your bros and hope she comes close enough so that you don’t have to move. Honestly, guys have it tough besides fist pumping or breaking it down they can’t really do anything without a partner. So we are kind of left to stand and wait for somebody to dance with.
Grinding. I don’t know when it really began, but I believe it was sometime after Happy Days and probably was what Reverend Moore was so afraid of, (that is the guy in Footloose that says dancing leads to sex) it really can only be performed when one has been binge drinking, had massive amount of caffeine, or both (Four Loko).
For those of you who are willing to simulate sex on the dance floor sober, I commend you. Also girls for next halloween if you plan on dancing with guys, I suggest you rethink the whole tale part of the costume, it is just weird for the guy.
The only time when you should be jumping up and down is when SHOUT comes on. Sadly, it has been banned from The Sea Grape, but it is still good at any other bar. When SHOUT comes on, you really have to not care about anything else except SHOUTING and JUMPING. If you spill your drinks who cares; there is a reason bars like the Grape banned the song from playing.
Lastly I’ll leave you with this: My freshman year it was all about Souljaboy “Crank That,” and now it is “Teach Me How to Dougie,” Personally, can we stop Dougieing every hour-and-a-half because it just looks stupid. Then again, I’m just mad because I can’t dougie and only know how to do the Jitter Bug, which really helps with rap music playing.
Sent from My iPhone
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