Last Tuesday a mystical thing happened. Tuesday disappeared. In a bizarre time-warp the students of Fairfield University lost the day known as Tuesday and gained a second Monday. This change confounded many scholars who study the stars and calendars as the event was unexplainable by science. Religious fanatics everywhere looked to this as a sign of the end of days, where eventually all days of the week will turn into an endless, hellish cycle of Monday’s. Travel grounded to a halt as everyone operating on Tuesday’s schedule quickly realized their mistakes and no one got anywhere they needed to go. Crisis level– alpha.
No one outside of Fairfield University understands the switch in schedules. Explaining the swap of Tuesday for Monday’s schedule was met with confused looks from both my parents as well as friends from other schools. I understand that the university seeks to even out the amount of Monday classes missed due to holidays, but have they weighed the benefits with the costs?
Everyone in the world does not follow Fairfield’s schedule. It’s not like you drive through the checkpoint by the gate and enter into a peaceful, secluded utopia untouched by the rest of the world. When Fairfield decides to switch the schedule, by God everyone else better do the same. Tuesday (which was really Monday) had me working. I am only scheduled to work on the physical day that exists outside of the class schedule known as Monday, which is defined by Dictionary.com as the second day of the week following Sunday but usually occurring before Tuesday.
When I got out of work I was disappointed to find that I could not find Two and a Half Men (usually scheduled MONDAY’s at 9pm) on my TV. After working with Blackberry Girl on Monday nights, I usually escape the torture that is her conversation catching up with Alan and Walden and their filthy shenanigans. I guess they didn’t get the memo about Fairfield University switching the class schedule to Monday.
In all seriousness the school switching the schedule makes little logical sense. Juniors and seniors with internships were met with the struggle of deciding to go to their Monday classes or their regularly scheduled internships. I think I’m going to try to start declaring days other days of the week. Wednesday shall henceforth be Saturday. Make it so! Think about how beautiful it’d be to have a break in the middle of the week to be able to just relax on. I’d sleep my face off like for 12 hours. It’d be spectacular.
I’d love to have Fairfield’s power to change the days of the week. If I was in charge I’d totally abuse it and make it so that every other day was a day off. So what if we students would develop a strong habit of laziness, we’d probably be more attentive in class because we wouldn’t all be sleep deprived. Food for thought. Chew on that, haters.

-Sent from my iPhone

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