“Uber is God’s gift to college kids everywhere.”
“I need Columbus Day weekend for hibernation.”
“I will never not wait 20 minutes for coffee in the morning.”
“I can’t even wake up for my 11 a.m. How do people 8 a.m. it?”
“There’s four doors but nope, we all must use the handicapped door.”
“When Einstein’s runs out of ice, you know it’s going to be a bad day.”
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