Dear Gentlemen,
As thoroughly validated in previous articles, males are utterly clueless when it comes to understanding females. With that in mind, and Valentine’s Day rapidly approaching, it appears that men at this University need a refresher course to ensure that this Feb. 14 has a better outcome than the Valentine’s Day massacre.
If you’re taken, or getting laid and need to make her think she’s taken, remember that Valentine’s Day is about romance and centered around your woman, not you. That said, the first step to a successful day is waking up and remembering that it is actually Valentine’s Day- yes, it’s that simple.
The day will only get better if you purchase a card for her in advance. You will not get very far if you wait until 5:30 p.m. Tuesday evening and end up with a $0.90 Spanish rendition of “mi único y verdadero amor”-unless she’s of Spanish descent.
Concerning the actual gift, it is mandatory to give her something, but not necessary to put a hole in your pocket. One word: creativity.
A thoughtful gift (other than the standard rose and teddy bear combination) really makes her think you’re special. For those less daring, you can never go wrong with chocolate. But, as with all things of female origin there are rules, so when it comes to chocolate: Godiva or hand-made creations are the best.
When it comes to what you shouldn’t buy women, especially on Valentine’s Day, lingerie ranks up there at the top. As much as this holiday is centered around love, men tend to have bad taste, no perception and don’t realize that underwear sizes have nothing to do with our shoe size.
Similarly, keep in mind that Valentine’s Day should not be focused around your wildest fantasies. Therefore, if your lady cries through Bambi, or insists you repeatedly watch Titanic, save the handcuffs for Halloween and the “Rabbit” for Easter and you should be in the clear.
Finally, for the men who crush over that beautiful upperclassman – it’s time to take a chance. If you’ve spotted me- I mean her- she’s spotted you. No woman would ever turn down a gift from a secrete admirer, or a note on her car letting her know how special she is. The worst thing any girl can ever say to you is no… hope this helped.
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