Your tan is faded, half the money you earned this summer is gone, and you’ve reacquainted yourself with the microwave dinner-welcome back to F.U.!!!

The first week back at Fairfield U is always a magical one. The strain of moving in, the painful blow to the wallet from buying books and the awkward hellos from your spring hookups are not enough to keep you down.

Fairfield students fight for the right to party. The first week back is an opportunity to show your fellow students that even though you may have been down the Cape playing Scrabble with Grandma all summer, your tolerance is still up to par.

Or, a tolerance which is comparable to that of a Sumo wrestler and you’ll have your game face on before they can say, “Natural Light.”

Freshmen, I guess it’s not really welcome “back” for you, but please feel free to join in on the festivities! Just don’t show up at my beach house after October 1st because I don’t want to be arrested.

Everybody else, if you’re still on campus, enjoy the convenience of stumbling around from shindig to shindig without having to worry about transportation or the Fairfield PoPo giving you a ticket or even worse, escorting you to the slammer.

If this is your first year residing in the townhouses, you should be warned that in the beginning of the year, under the moonlight and after a gin bucket or two, your lovely new home may have a tendency to resemble that of your neighbor’s lovely new home.

In other words, before your drunk butt strips down to jump into bed and pass out, make sure you’re in the right house.

Fellow first time beach dwellers, it’s true that maybe you haven’t had internet access in over a week, perhaps you’ve spent enough money at the Grape to relieve a small country of its national debt and it’s possible that your modge-podge array of furniture leaves something to desire.

However, you can’t deny that this is probably the best living situation any of us will ever be granted.

Ten years from now, when our Saturdays consist of yard work and trips to Bed Bath and Beyond (if we have time) we’ll long for the good old days at FU.

The days where you spent all day having Meaghan Donlon kick your ass in beer pong on the Point and watching those two random people get it on in front of 100 of their closest friends on a beach sandbar. Let’s live it up.

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