Alex Roem/The Mirror

On March 29 there were three Chinese mock weddings held in the lower BCC. On April 10th there was the annual senior Mock Wedding (Jersey Shore-themed) held at Lantern Point. What follows is a game to guess which details correspond with which event.

Before the ceremony of Wedding A, the guests were served peanuts, water and red candy for good luck. There was no food served before Wedding B but there were at least 10 kegs-guests were on a liquid diet.

Wedding A started with The Party Secretary calling for attention as he served as the chief witness to the union.

Wedding B started with the “priest” roasting the entire wedding party and select members of the class of 2010. Some people who were mentioned in the opening speech took the verbal assault with a smile; others did not. There were definitely some tears shed before the vows and it had nothing to do with the fact that they were at a wedding.

There were about 35 students and 5 professors at Wedding A.

There were about 450 students and (fortunately for everyone involved) no professors at Wedding B.

At Wedding A the bride and groom wore their old army uniforms with bright red paper flowers pinned to them.

At Wedding B the men had on jeans, white and black button down shirts (collar popped, of course), sweatbands, blowouts and way too much bronzer (any bronzer is too much bronzer). The bride had on a white dress that was held together with clothespins and pink underwear, which she showed the crowd often. Her bridesmaids honored her underwear choice by wearing dresses of the same color. The accessory that really brought together the bridesmaids’ outfits was the “guidette bump” hairdo.

Wedding A: The bride and groom bowed three times before a portrait of Chairman Mao and then recited some of his famous quotations.

Wedding B: The groom picked up the bride and almost dropped her off the second story balcony.

After Wedding A, students formed a nice, orderly line at the Chinese buffet that was laid out for them.

After Wedding B, students got on a bus, headed to a reception hall, then practically killed each other trying to shove their way up to one of the two severely understaffed bars.

When Wedding A ended, students went back to their dorms or houses, put together and in one piece.

When Wedding B ended, articles of clothes were missing, phones and cameras were smashed, motor skills were significantly decreased, some hearts were broken and others found new “relationships”.
*Spoiler Alert*  Wedding A= Chinese Mock Wedding. Wedding B= Senior Mock Wedding. Or is it the other way around? They were so similar.

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