Tebben Gill Lopez/ The Mirror
Top 10 Reasons I Hate the Gym: (and other things I think of while I’m there)
1. I’m sorry that I don’t own anything Lululemon and that my sports bra doesn’t match my socks, but you don’t have to stare at me like that when I walk in dressed in my basketball shorts and T-shirt.
2. Anyone else ever notice that the RecPlex is nothing more than a lobby filled with exercise equipment?
3. No one can survive the step machine for more than five minutes.
4. Maybe it’s just me, but generally after I watch you sweat all over the elliptical I expect you to wipe it down with a towel.
5. It’s always awkward when the girl across from you with the full face of makeup wipes her face on the bright white towel … and it turns orange.
6. Seriously, what is that smell?
7. It’s like an unwritten rule that if you get on a machine next to someone who was there before you started, you can’t get off before they finish.
8. The elderly man next to me is working out harder than me … time to reevaluate my life.
9. To the girl in Barone wearing a full workout outfit with matching sneakers: We all know you didn’t actually go to the gym.
10. Going to the gym right after New Year’s is like walking into a bar on St. Patrick’s Day—full of sweaty, dizzy people with short-term goals.
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