“Is my bronzer even?”
“Can you notice the bags underneath my eyes?”
“Do I look like I’m trying too hard?”
These are all common questions we ask our roommates before going to our 11a.m.s or that hot date we finally scored with our lab partner.
When we are sitting in class and look out of the corner of our eyes to see someone staring at us, we automatically assume something doesn’t look right. “Did I forget to cut the tags off?” “Is my underwear sticking out?” “Am I wearing too much makeup?” when in reality the person may just be in a daze (which happens to people more than we think).
If we are walking into the BCC and we see someone look us up and down, we think, “Ugh! I should have just stuck to one bacon, egg and cheese this morning!” “Am I walking pigeon-toed?” “Did I say something to this person when I blacked out this weekend?” when in reality the person may actually be wondering where you bought that cool shirt.
It’s now Barone time and if we walk past a table that suddenly stops talking, we think, “I can’t help it that I like the tater tots!” “Damn, I shouldn’t have filled my plate so high!” “I’m on a strict diet, which is why I only have leaves on my plate,” when in reality they may be wondering why they haven’t seen you all year.
While doing a presentation in a class that seems like a thousand degrees and of course is filled with the most attractive athletes, we think, “I wonder if they can see that hickey I tried to cover up?” “Are my sweat marks really noticeable?” “I hope I can hold this fart in for the remainder of the presentation or they will probably evacuate!” when in reality they may be thinking that you are smarter than they actually thought.
Friday has finally come and we are ready to rage. We walk into a random house and notice everyone freezes for those five seconds. We think, “Did Paul give me the wrong house number?” “Are they out of beer already?” “Oh my God, how should I introduce myself? ‘Hi my name is Tara (smile and shake hands)?’ or try the seductive ‘Hey there!’” (followed by a sexy walk).
It’s Saturday night and we are at a local bar. The guy you have been eyeing finally approaches you and asks the famous question, “Can I buy you a drink?” You think, “Should I get a beer even though I hate beer or a Cosmopolitan, even though it’s $12?” “Does my breath stink?” “Do I have beer goggles already? Because he’s actually much cuter from across the bar…”
We all go home for Christmas break and want to look super good when we bump into our ex-boyfriend, so we finally decide pay a visit to the gym. We are running on the treadmill and see Peter walk by and stare; we probably think, “Do I run funny?” “I wonder if my mouth has been open the whole time?” “I can’t help it that I sweat like a man!” When in reality Peter is really thinking, “Wow, that girl is cute!”
Peter walks away thinking to himself, “Dude, I wonder if she noticed the bleeding from that zit I just popped right before filling up my water bottle.” “Hmm I wonder if she thinks I have chicken legs.” “Did I smile too much because my nostrils tend to flair?”
What we don’t realize is that we aren’t Hollywood celebrities who are going to end up on the Enquirer if we accidentally pick a wedgie or pay for our sandwich at The Stag with quarters. There is no fashion police on campus (especially since The Mirror established that white after Labor Day is no longer a rule).
So the next time you are getting ready or waking up from a rough night to go to Village Bagels in the morning, don’t think, “Ugh, I hope no one is in there!” because obviously these are thoughts we all have. If we all acknowledge that judging others doesn’t do anything but make ourselves feel better, we can eliminate the insecurities that occur on a regular basis.
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