It’s apparent that you guys didn’t get enough sex the first time around. So I’m ready to give you more. Ohhhhh yeahhhhh, it’s time to get down and dirty again. But the paper censors are requiring me to keep it somewhat clean, so make sure you shower before we get going.

My boyfriend wants me to use props. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that concept. What should I do?

-Keep it Simple, Stupid

So you’d rather whip him into shape before he does it to you.

If you’re not comfortable with the idea of including some extras in your DVD movie… wait… bad analogy.

In terms of sex, the trust level should be high enough that you can set boundaries and say “I don’t want to do that” or “I’m not ready to spice it up that way.” Your boyfriend should be more than willing to agree to that – if not, you could face some problems later on.

If he’s looking to spice things up, have a nice little chat (fully clothed) and just discuss what you would be willing to do. Remember, it’s no good if you’re not comfortable, so use the power you have as being one half of what it takes to make sex happen and draw, politely, a line in the sand. If handcuffs make you think you’re being arrested, I doubt that night will be fun – memorable, but not fun.

My roommate is a nymphomaniac and I can’t seem to be able to get access to my room when I need to because she’s… well… busy. Any ideas?

-Sexiled too often

Give me her number and she can spend some quality time in my room.

Well, it was worth a shot. You could always post some of those PSA posters when you know she’s coming back soon with things like “AIDS kills” or one of those funny posters for genital herpes medications.

If you’re looking for a serious solution, the best way is to talk to her and just let her know you need the room for important things time to time – people are noticing that you’re wearing the same shirt four days in a row, after all – you deserve to be able to get changed and maybe sleep now and then. Make sure that she understands it’s not that you disapprove of her behavior (even if you do, that’s a different battle that she may be less open to listening to you about). Tell her (in better phrasing) since you’re bending over backwards for her so much maybe she can bend over backwards for someone other than her sex partner of the night from time to time.

My girlfriend recently found my porn collection. What should I do to put damage control in check?

-Caught with my pants down

Tell her happy birthday!

Attitudes about porn run up and down, from those who are totally cool with it to those who feel that it’s just as bad as having sex before marriage. Since you’re asking, I’m betting she falls closer to the latter extreme.

This is one of those tip-toe-and-don’t-set-off-a-land-mine issues, because some people simply don’t want to see or hear about that kind of stuff.

If you feel like you’re entering a no-win situation, the best you can offer is to give it to your roommate (or better, say it’s his and he’s using your desk to store it – nothing like breaking trust when it’s already broken.) If she seems more cool with it, but just thinks it’s a form of cheating, you can try the line that you use it to get your extra jollies out when she’s not around or she doesn’t want to be your eternal sex slave.

But none of these excuses, admissions, or lies will be a surefire way to solve the problem. Honesty is your closest bet. (Way to take a long time to get to the point, but for some reason I bet many thought the preceding ideas are really good – Ricki Lake makes that evident on a semi-regular basis.) Tell her why you bought it, be honest about how much you watch it, and if it seems like it could be a relationship-breaker, offer to get rid of it. Ultimately, the relationship is more important than having a tape to pop into the VCR or a DVD to scan through until your favorite song of the movie is on. (I know you only watch it for the music – at least that’s an excuse a friend of mine tried once.) Besides, so many stores sell that stuff that if the relationship falls through, all you have to do is burn rubber to the local “Love Shack” or “Adult Arena.” Thanks for asking.

Have a question you want answered? E-mail and he may answer your question in a future A Word of Advice. Questions are answered every Monday and Thursday. All questions answered in the column were submitted by college-age students and may have been edited for length and/or content.

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