If you asked most people, “If you could have one superpower, what would it be?” most people would respond that they’d want the ability to fly, to have super strength, or to predict the future – something along those lines. However, I’d have a much simpler answer. If I could possess one quality, it would be this: the ability to deal with change.
Change. It’s one of the most challenging things we as humans face. We lose friends and loved ones, and we switch schools and jobs. The list goes on. Changes come in all shapes and sizes – positive, negative and everything in between. But what is it about change that makes it so hard?
When things in life change, a part of our character must change, too. It’s not always easy to change yourself in order to embrace the change your life has brought upon you. When your life takes on a different road, you must adapt. Some people take on this challenge with poise and elegance, but some dwell in the past. I tend to see the past as brighter than it was and the future as darker than it will be.
I am sure many of you reading can relate with my problem. Whenever something in your life changes, you crumble to pieces. When a friendship fails, or a relationship ends, you look in the mirror and beat yourself up. You ask yourself what you did wrong. You think that maybe if you were skinnier, blonder, funnier, not as loud, not as quiet, maybe if you did things differently, things would have worked. Trust me, I’ve been down this road a million times and that is not the right attitude when dealing with change.
As cliché as it sounds, everything in life truly does happen for a reason. Even the hardest things you face in life happen to make you stronger. Just like you lift weights at the gym to make strengthen your muscles, you face obstacles in life to make yourself stronger.
Probably one of the toughest changes we face is the loss of a relationship – whether it be romantic or friendship. A successful relationship only takes two things; 100 percent effort from both persons involved. Relationships take work and can fall to pieces in the blink of an eye.
It’s hard when someone changes, because you look them in the face and see the same person, but on the inside they’re not. And you almost wish they could flash back for a moment and remember how things were.
We’ve all experienced the loss of a best friend. That person who you once said to yourself, “They will never leave me and will always be there no matter what.” And then, boom. One day, everything changes. Where do you turn from there?
What do you do when the person you went to with all your problems is now the cause of your problems?
It has taken me experience and loss to finally find the solution.
First off, not all change is forever. Sometimes people leave us for awhile but come back later.
To deal with the loss of a special relationship is to cherish the memories. Always keep a part of that person with you.
Memories are one of the most beautiful gifts we are given, because they can never be taken away. They are the diamonds of our past.
Never change yourself because of the loss of a relationship. If someone changes, that doesn’t mean you should ever change yourself for them. You can never go wrong with being yourself.
Sometimes the loss of a relationship is only temporary. Remember that you might not have lost this person forever. Always have hope.
Look for the silver lining in every change. Most of life’s most useful lessons are manifested in change. Search for that lesson and implement it into your everyday life.
Change, whether positive or negative, will never be an easy task. But you can’t let change break you and you absolutely can’t dwell in the past. You must trust that every change, even the hardest ones, are just part of the building blocks of your character.
If I ever get a tattoo, I’d definitely get one with a quote from J.R.R. Tolkien: “All that is gold does not glitter / Not all those who wander are lost.”
Just because a change doesn’t glitter does not mean it’s not gold. Trust that always.
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