From leather-strutting greaser Danny Zuko, to “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” antagonistic vamp Spike, to action hero Jason Statham, bad boys have no doubt established a presence in our culture. And our desires for them have only increased.
A bad boy is meant to tempt us, pull at our heartstrings and then take off with the profits at the end of the series. Someone who’s cool, exciting, potentially dangerous, sometimes far from normality and has the tendency to be extremely sexy; face it, that’s hard to ignore. Essentially, we want what we can’t control.
Either way, it’s a relative understanding that every girl is told that they should want a bad boy at least once in their life –– it’s just too exciting of a deal to pass up.
This conception is harmful to men because it convinces them that their true selves aren’t good enough to appeal to women. Men feel pressured because of this high expectation into becoming this rough and tough guy that society seems so willing to accept, coinciding with how men expect and sometimes pressure women to be the sexy Victoria’s Secret model.
In fact, the idea of the bad boy actually makes it impossible for real relationships to exist.
Imagine the two of you being married; he takes off on his motorcycle every single night, loathes showing his emotions so he never connects with his kids and possibly is a heavy drinker and gets into way too many fights. In reality, the bad boy isn’t some sexy vampire sporting leather or a misunderstood, devilishly handsome guy; he’s potentially dangerous, involved in things that can result in heavier consequences than just a broken heart.
Real relationships are filled with warm emotion, love, communication and connection. The bad boy ideology encourages men to oppose the foundations of a real relationship by remaining arrogant, emotionally distant and flaky on communication. While we claim to want thrills, last time I checked there’s nothing more thrilling about an involved husband who enjoys seeing you in your flannel pajamas and kissing the kids good night.
Society should understand by now that the only thing wonderful about the bad boy is the spontaneous wild side he brings to the table. Nothing more, nothing less.
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