“I’m never getting married.”
Those are normally the infamous words ringing from my room on a Sunday morning over waffles with my best friend.
“But, like…he seemed so sweet and charming last night when he was 10 drinks in and I was wearing a tight mini skirt.”
Honestly, what has our world come to? For those of you who don’t know, I would like the break down the sick and twisted world of college “relationships”, if you could even call it that.
In college, this is how it works. You see someone cute at the stir fry station in Barone, in your math class, strolling through the stacks at the library etc., you make a mental note, you go out on the weekend when you’re both feeling happy, you hook up. The end. Most likely afterwards, you’ll see them around, maybe a head nod if you’re lucky. But, most of the time you’ll probably just pretend you don’t know each other and walk away. This usually ends in the girl being upset, going out and repeating the same awful cycle. It honestly has to stop.
I don’t just blame boys, though. Girls are just as much to blame. We all sit there sulking and complaining that there are no good guys in the world, but maybe if we actually demanded some respect boys would act more respectful in turn. Our whole culture has just become so accustomed to casual hooking up that relationships and dating are seeming to become a thing of the past.
God forbid you go up to a cute guy and ask if he wants to go to lunch, he’ll probably look at you like you have three heads. But, I mean, if you want to hook up when you don’t even know each other, thats completely normal. It just seems like the whole motivation for going out these days is getting absolutely blitzed and finding someone to make out with. What happened to dancing and having fun with your friends? Why is the definition of a good night have to be whether you made out with someone or not?
Sometimes I just don’t even want to go out anymore because the whole scene just disgusts me. But, I’m not exactly the type who likes to sit in on a Saturday night and play chess or watch the Lord of the Rings (nothing against people who do that!). But, I love to have a good time! I just wish sometimes that I lived in the 1950s. When girls wore dresses and pearls; when guys took them out to the drive-in, or to get ice cream at the counter in those tall glasses (when banana splits were made with REAL bananas), or bike riding to the river to go swimming off a tire swing.
Basically, I know it sounds cliche, but the movie The Notebook hits the nail on the head. THAT is a true love story. At one point in the movie, while Duke is reading the story to Allie, he says, “They didn’t agree on much. In fact they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time and they challenged each other everyday … But in spite their differences, they had one important thing in common, they were crazy about each other.”
A love story doesn’t mean everything’s perfect. No relationship is perfect, and I don’t think most people out there are looking for perfection. They’re just looking for someone to make them happy. Someone to spend time with. Someone who is their best friend and lover wrapped up in one. Someone who accepts you for exactly WHO and WHAT you are, and looks beyond your imperfections. Someone who wants to be with you through the ups and downs. Through my emotional fits.
Through me eating 8 double stuffed oreos, peeing my pants on a run, snorting when I laugh, and posting stupid Facebook statuses. You should never, ever change anything about yourself for someone else. A person who truly loves you will love you for exactly what you are.
Katy Perry says it perfectly: “Too many girls rush into relationships for fear of being single, then start making compromises and losing their identity. Don’t do that.”
In closing, I just wanted to share a short list of my life’s rules:
#1: Sometimes, things just aren’t meant to work out. No matter how hard you work at something, it’s just not meant to be. But, you’re not giving up. You’re just realizing that it doesn’t make you happy, and opens the door for something better.
#2: Never drinks too much wine. Ever. It ends tragically.
#3: John Mayer songs solve a multitude of life’s problems.
#4: Love of yourself is the one and only most important thing in your life.
#5: Never, ever, EVER take people for granted who love and care about you.
#6: Everything is brighter in the morning.
#7: Trust in God and believe that he has a beautiful plan for you.
#8: Boys are going to hurt you. You’re going to cry. Sometimes, you’re going to feel like there’s no hope. Chocolate, ice cream, and best friends help. But, if you think of things logically, you only end up marrying (hopefully) one person in you life, so most relationships are going to end in heartbreak.
#9: Family is the most important thing in your life.
#10: Do what makes you happy. If you ever look at yourself in the mirror and are dreading something you’re doing in your life, change it! You only have one life to live! Live it to the fullest.
Ok, sorry, got a little philosophical. But, hopefully maybe at least some of you will take what I said to heart.
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