Peter Caty/The Mirror
Wouldn’t it be great to walk into a dorm room and there, in the center of the room, was a golden stripper pole?
Most guys would instantly agree to come to Fairfield if they saw a stripper pole in a dorm room on their tour. Kent State University, on the other hand, has officially banned stripper poles from residence halls.
Putting aside all of the physical benefits that a stripper workout can provide its students, Kent State has banned the item because bolting it to the ceiling and floor is destructive as well as a fire hazard, as crazy as that sounds. Luckily, it is only the pole that is banned, and students can be resourceful with other items.
One might be surprised by what is banned from Fairfield dorms, even after lifting the ban on drinking paraphernalia this year.
You’ve seen the ‘Not Allowed’ posters hanging in the dorms that forbid items like fireworks, halogen bulbs, candles, airsoft guns, George Foreman Grills, etc. This is not to say that students have not found themselves shot by an airsoft pellet or have not had their printers melted by halogen bulbs.
However, our student handbook does not ban anything like stripper poles per se, nor does it say that strippers are not allowed on campus to the best of this writer’s knowledge.’
Quite possibly the worst day in recent history at Fairfield was the day when kegs were banned. This one rule completely changed the party atmosphere on campus. Unlike all other banned items, kegs are the ones that have not made a hidden appearance on campus in large quantities.
The Student Handbook states, ‘Pets are not permitted in student residences, with the exception of fish in a container of no more than 10 gallons,’ which is actually a relatively large tank. But are live-in pets such a huge problem?
It seems that there has been an abundance of cats on campus this year, roaming around campus, which probably started as cute kittens in the dorm. Dogs tend to be too difficult to hide in a dorm because they don’t use litter boxes, but that does not mean they have not called Fairfield’ home before. Gerbils, hamsters and bunnies are often more common than cats and dogs, because their small size makes them easier to hide.
For the more adventurous types, it is known that turtles have found residency at Fairfield, serving as betting props for staged races. Those lovable fighting beta fish given out by FUSA have also found themselves engaged in a few battles against each other to see whose fish would live.
Besides violations with the school and possible cleanliness or allergy issues that a pet presents students with, it would seem that there is no moral issue with having a pet in your dorm as long as the animal has a home over the summer.
However, any animal subjected to living with college students could provide grounds for animal cruelty. Whether liquor ends up in the fishbowl or loud drunken students scare hamsters at 1 a.m., students are bound to find something entertaining at the expense of the animal.
Then again, most people do not get an animal to torture it, and most pets that call Fairfield home are in a loving environment. Let’s be honest- what beach house, townhouse, apartment or dorm does not want an animal like the one Kenny Chesney sings about?
‘We had a dog named Bocephus livin in the front yard. He liked sleeping out on top of the car, he drank beer out of a mason jar and he’d climb up on everyone in bed.’
As students, we all hope that our pet becomes like a college student, like Bocephus.
However, if you don’t feel like adding another resident to your room, don’t forget you can still always get a stripper if you want to feel unconditional love, just without the pole.
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