Most college students, if not most social drinkers in general, are familiar with the term “beer goggles” and the magic that they can provide. That certain someone with a braying laugh, horrid fashion sense and severe acne can go from the guy or gal you avoid to the person who incessantly IM’s you after a night of poor and impaired judgment.

Yes, beer can make the unattractive appear attractive, but too few stop to consider the other beer truth: consuming too much makes the attractive unbelievably ugly.

I have seen a lot of things in my time here at Fairfield, but one image stands out as the most heinous thing I saw: as I made my way back to my dorm freshman year, I noticed a large group of people gathered by the side entrance of Campion. I made my way inside and was going to start the long climb to the fourth floor when I looked at the staircase and saw a fellow frosh lying in the bottom of the stairs in a pile of her own puke, surrounded by health and security personnel, and nearly unconscious.

She recovered, and while I had concern that any passerby may have had for her well-being, there was a second thought: that is the most unladylike thing I have ever seen. Granted, if men can get piss-drunk then women have every right to do so as well; however, it is déclassé to be completely without control.

A fair number of men use beer as their “liquid courage”, and they may feel as though they can’t be outgoing or have a conversation with the object of their affection unless they have some spirits to lift their spirits.

Unfortunately, the “less is more” principle rarely is adhered to in these situations. The one drink that may make someone a little more talkative becomes the six or seven drinks that have the same person slurring words and staring anywhere but directly into his companion’s eyes.

I’m not trying to stand on a soapbox. Leave the lectures to TAPS and the health center and our parents and after-school specials and everyone else in the world. Sometimes you just feel like you want a buzz. The student body is aware of health risks they take when they guzzle beer. We do it anyway.

In appealing to the vanity in every young man or woman, maybe an embarrassing situation at next weekend’s house party can be avoided. We’re young and stupid and can make fools of ourselves without beer. Just ask our parents.

Stay tuned for Thursday’s edition of The Mirror for a Campus Life section dedicated entirely to beer!

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