Blondes: Proud to be Loud and Wild
Urban outfitters has recently attempted to apply the classic slogan “Blondes have more fun” to everyone. But come on, let’s face it, blondes have, and will continue to have, the most fun. I am living proof of this argument. Don’t believe me? Ask my friends, parents, lawyer, The Mirror staff, even my professors; they’ll all attest to the incomprehensible amount of fun that is a blonde’s life.
Blondes were born to be wild. Anything from running red lights, to dancing on tables, to not understanding how Congress operates are acceptable shenanigans. While blondes are busy chatting their way through a party, brunettes are sitting in a corner practicing their sexy-pouty faces with each other.
Life shouldn’t require that much thought. Blondes make their presence and personality known and certainly do not get their feathers ruffled if the solemn brunette thinks they have one too many screws loose.
You can either enjoy the company of a blonde or begin your quest for the Holy Grail: the complex, hidden mind of a brunette. Don’t worry if you choose to take on the brunette, blondes are confident they have fun and quite frankly, don’t need to be hard-to-get and mysterious in order to be appealing.
Sure, many of the blondes at Fairfield are in fact “fake blond,” but they left the dark side for a reason: blondes are the life of the party. We can make light of any situation and can provide comic relief to any mundane conversation that some brunette has trapped us in a corner to discuss. Whether it’s their effervescent personality or the eye-catching color of a platinum mane, heads immediately turn when a blonde walks into the room. Guys and girls alike are drawn to the crazy blond girl who is most likely making dramatic hand gestures and laughing uncontrollably.
Although fun is subjective, blondes have an optimistic outlook on life that enables them to keep a smile on their faces, never have a bad day and avoid becoming bogged down with the heavy, serious, grounded thoughts of a brunette. So, lighten up, go blonde and have more fun.
To play on a familiar phrase: you are what you drink. You can often catch a brunette, similar to my charming colleague, drinking something standard and boring like a Captain and Coke, where as we blondes prefer something bubbly and glamorous, like a tall glass of champagne. Dom Perignon or Captain Morgan’s? You decide.
Brunettes: Subtle, Sophisticated Fun
The saying goes that blondes have more fun, but as a brunette, I would have to disagree. Although it is more likely that upon entering a party you will find a blonde dancing on a table, doing a keg stand or making a scene, I would have to argue that this does not necessarily mean that they’re having more fun. Brunettes simply don’t demand the center of attention in order to have a good time.
For some reason, blondes seem to think they have the party market cornered, but my hair color has never impeded my ability to have a good time.
A brunette has no problem playing flip cup, carrying on a conversation and keeping her blond friend from dropping her phone in her beer all at the same time.
We have no burning desire to drink our beer upside down or cause a commotion when we enter a room. A sexy, sultry brunette always turns a few heads with very little effort. The fact is that it doesn’t take a lot for us to look sexy or mysterious when we are standing next to some blond chick who is jumping all over the place like she forgot to take her meds.
The best part of the Fairfield blonde and brunette battle is that half the people representing the blonde side are actually brunettes. Have you been leaving your bleach in too long ladies? Go back to your roots! Even if you think you’re having more fun, you’re still a brunette at heart. Those luscious brown locks add an alluring charm that’s hard to resist.
Although my lovely blond friend has a point, that blondes can get away with uncontrollable laughing, dramatic hand gestures and dancing on tables; so can most mental health patients. Is this really a resemblance you long to share?
According to some, navigating the mind of a brunette is a difficult, and sometimes impossible, task. I personally have never had an in-depth conversation about pollution or the state of our country’s educational systems while playing beer pong, but I also rarely hear myself saying, “Oh my God, I look so much better in that shirt.”
If that makes me boring, then so be it.
We may be more subdued and our fun might not be as obvious, but we are no more serious than any blonde around. We go out and relax and take it slow because we don’t need to be wild and crazy to attract attention.
We simply have no desire to have people describe their most idiotic acts as “brunette moments.”
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