Living in a Ghost Town, Major Pet Peeves, and Solace
Welcome back, kids! Hope you had a great Spring Break. Whether you went home to do laundry with the folks or down south to get a tan and relax, I assure you it was better than my week alone on campus.
As you were breaking the law on road trips to New Orleans or sleeping in every day at your parents’ house, the Townhouse Prowler, as I like to call him, decided to attempt to break in to my house for a second time. You already took all our DVDs, buddy! There’s nothing left to steal!
While I’m certainly not begrudging my peers’ well-deserved vacation (I remember what it’s like to be a “real” college student), it was lonely without them. One night as I greedily took up every single laundry machine in the 2 block, I came across a bird flying up from under a tree and screamed at the top of my lungs at the sheer surprise of noise on campus.
My students, having no idea that my housemates were in Mexico, treated me like the pond scum they believe I am. On Monday I handed back a test to a young man who was apparently displeased with his grade. He proceeded to tell me the grade was “Expletive Deleted” and threw the paper in the trash.
This charming youngster’s reaction brings me to the topic of this week’s article: Pet Peeves. I have a few, including being verbally assaulted by a minor and the phrase “But Ms. Dohertyyyyyy you never toooooooooooold us about thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat” – better known as Grade A Whining.
Other student teachers will agree with me that whining and assault are up there on the list of Top 10 Pet Peeves. Allow me to share some other issues we deal with daily:
Being Hit On By Children. I use the word children deliberately because it reflects the behaviors and attempts made by students to get our attention. Middle school students come right out and tell you they love you. Freshmen steal your pens. Sophomores stutter and ask if they can come for extra help. Juniors give you their phone numbers on quizzes. Seniors ask you on dates.
Inability To Follow Directions. Sample dialogue between teacher and students: “After you finish writing, take out your book, read the section and respond to the questions” (Repeated twice, and written on the board). “Wait, what are we doing??”
Trying To Amuse/Impress/Annoy the Teacher. We’re not going to watch “Napoleon Dynamite” OR “Anchorman” today. Your funny answers on quizzes and tests in place of a real answer do not amuse me (at least that I’ll tell you about). I will not tell you if I live at the beach or on campus. I do not want tickets to the gun show.
And then there are the pet peeves on the professional side, such as dressing up every day (my former dream as a child; my nightmare as an adult), breaking the copy machine each time you fill it with staples for collating, running into students at every corner (Borders, Mike’s, the Community Theatre – I can’t go anywhere!), spending eight hours working in school and several hours every night planning for the next day, and old geezer teachers who look at you like you are a glorified college drop-out.
Please do not think we are complaining. Like I’ve said, if we did not enjoy teaching, we would not be doing it. We have just been able to channel our ability to complain about college life to the “real world.” And we do so together on Friday afternoons at Happy Hour away from the acute hearing ability of students, teachers and roommates.
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