I’d like to say that Sylvester Stallone’s new film “Bullet to the Head” is a blockbuster hit. I’d like to tell you that his new film is as good as the first three “Rocky” films. I’d like to tell you the action in his film is as good as it was in “Rambo.” That’s what I’d like to tell you.
Unfortunately, doing so would be untrue and most certainly unethical.
The fact of the matter is, Stallone is old and has no more business being in an action film today than Lindsay Lohan.
Be forewarned, this is the stereotypical “man-flick.” There is blood and plenty of gore (an on-screen autopsy, for example), explosions and naked women.
Guys: although that may sound great, let’s be honest, you can get all of that on your laptop from the comfort of your dorm room, and you won’t be $10.50 in the hole when it’s all said and done.
In the movie, Stallone plays a racist hit man who is trying to avenge the death of his partner by cooperating with an out-of-town detective. Interestingly enough, his deceased partner is one of only two people who die in the movie from something other than a bullet to the head.
Although this is a work of fiction, viewers may be left feeling insulted by some of the illogical plot points of the film. For instance, Stallone’s partner is stabbed to death in a crowded bar where there are hundreds of witnesses. Moreover, the victim is in a country bar wearing a very expensive suit and sticks out like a sore thumb. Yet no one notices his death until he dramatically collapses after bleeding out in the corner for a couple of minutes.
It seems that the director Walter Hill has some sort of fascination with shows like “CSI” as some of his scenes at times feel plagiarized. They even went so far as to cast one of the lead characters of “CSI: Miami” (Sung Kang) as Stallone’s detective partner.
Furthermore, the opening credits were harder to get through than “Enter the Void” − and anyone who has seen that film can attest to how unimaginably painful those opening credits are to get through.
Hill may have mastered the sci-fi genre with classics such as “Aliens” and more recently “Prometheus,” but it is clear he struggles with action, even with the legendary Stallone at his disposal.
As I sat in the almost empty movie theater on the film’s opening night, I found myself at times watching the people who literally got up and left in the middle of the film; it was much more interesting than watching the plot squeezed in between the brutal gun fights and the masquerade ball featuring women sporting nothing but a mask and maybe a beaded necklace or two.
If you’re looking for a film with a commanding lead actor and a plot that always keeps you guessing, then this is not the film for you. If you want to watch gunfights, explosions, drugs and sex, “Bullet to the Head” is now playing.
“Bullet to the Head” trailer
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