Coming to the front, I wondered why I was walking into the one place that I promised myself I’d never come to. The sliding doors whir as they split like the Red Seas. Odd looking folk started coming out, talking about some radio they carried that looked right out of a Styx music video.

The catacombs were high, towering possibly to the highest buildings in New York. I didn’t want to say anything lest my voice bounced around the store. A child strapped to a giant wheel gets pushed by his wannabe fashion star mother. She looks at my jeans and scoffs, muttering about how I lack any sense of fashion.

Least I got a shirt on, I thought to myself as I headed to the back.

Putting on the store provided parks near the freezer’s entrance, I venture into the Arctic of the store. Getting to the frozen foods section, I open the door as a family of penguins pop out and waddle their way to the seafood section near the beaches in the east. I grab the pack of Chocco Monsters as I make for the exit, the monsters inside the box already getting antsy.

I navigated my way through the mazes of death traps and natives that adopted this place’s ways. I lost my shoes, but I still got the Chocco Monsters in my grasp. When I made it to the cashier, she asked me if I needed an anesthetic. Replying with a soft “Yes”, she beat the Chocco Monsters box with a mallet and told me it was 11.99. I reached down to my pockets and pulled out a chicken drumstick. She said it was enough, so I threw in the hot sauce and mashed potatoes in there. She gave me two of her teeth from 6 years ago and gave me a “Have a Nice day!”

Just another day at Walgreens, I thought to myself as I packed the Chocco Monsters into the cooler, lock and all.

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