“We’re at capacity.”
Kamala Kiem, director of New Student Programs, strides through the Kelley Center.
“We have to start turning people away,” she says.
Kiem is concerned about the number of students who have packed into the Kelley Center presentation room. Inside, students resort to sitting on the floor, their backs lining the walls.
“Jane Doe No More, Breaking the Stigmas and Silence: A Conversation About Sexual Assault” is the event garnering such attention. The goal is exactly that – to stir conversation concerning sexual assault with the hope of increasing awareness and decreasing suffering of victims.
On the night that Donna Palomba, founder of Jane Doe No More, was attacked, she was supposed to be in Colorado with her husband.
Palomba was held at gunpoint, sexually assaulted and threatened in her home in Connecticut. Through the next decade, Palomba would face numerous hurdles from law enforcement to have her case recognized.
“For seven years, they tried to stop me at every turn,” Palomba said. “I hope it gives courage to other women that if you’re a victim of rape, you did nothing wrong. I am here to create change.”
Kristen Baumer, a sexual assault survivor and guest speaker for Jane Doe No More, had just completed her freshman year at the University of Delaware when she was kidnapped and sexually assaulted.
Palomba and Baumer’s stories reveal that sexual assault does and can happen to the most unsuspecting people: a mother, a student, and, as Detective Kerry Dalling of Fairfield Police was quick to emphasize, “men are also victims of sexual violence.”
The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network reports that every two minutes, a person in the United States is sexually assaulted. Two-thirds of these attacks are committed by someone who the victim knows.
This is a statistic with which Palomba and Baumer are too familiar – Palomba’s attacker was a childhood friend of her husband and Baumer was assaulted by someone she would later recognize as a coworker’s boyfriend.
According to Baumer, 95 percent of rapes on college campuses go unreported and many could have been prevented. Palomba believes sexual assault is “the most misunderstood and underreported crime in the world.”
Fairfield is not invulnerable.
Judith Kaechele, director of Fairfield’s Student Health Center, suggests that if students are ever unsure of where to turn, the Health and Counseling Centers are ready to help and can keep a confidential record.
“We put your needs first. We want to be part of the solution,” Kaechele said.
Director of Public Safety Todd Pelazza and Fairfield Police Chief Gary MacNamara insist that a deeper communication between students and law enforcement can help to improve the conversation of sexual assault.
MacNamara expresses an interest in starting as early as Freshman Orientation to begin to foster the relationship between law enforcement and students.
As for Pelazza, he emphasizes exactly what the University is doing to help. This includes Rape Aggression Defense classes. To ask for help “takes courage,” he said. “You have options …we want to empower you.”
Palomba agrees with Pelazza. “Sexual assault is about power and control over someone else, so I try to take back that power and control through Jane Doe No More,” she said.
Reflecting upon the large size of the gathering, Marissa Tota ’12, remarked, “Four years ago, when I came on this campus, there would have been no way this room would have been full.”
Now, she said about the current environment at Fairfield, “step by step, things are getting better. I’m going to graduate, but I want the progress to keep going.”
Tota, a Sociology major, has dedicated much of her time to her Women’s Studies minor, as well as the new Gender, Sex and Sexuality Center, which co-sponsored the event.
She also initiated the on-campus women’s mentoring group, which is called Sisters Inspiring Sisters. It was created to fill the lack of a “network of women as a support system,” Tota says.
Tota’s motives are very similar to Palomba, who hopes conversation will make Jane Doe No More’s motto a reality. No more blame. No more shame. No more fear.
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