Aside from all the other reasons to marry rich, my number one has become to find a man with enough money to buy me a Tuscan vineyard. About a week ago, I played out my wine mom fantasy and went to Montalcino to go to a wine tasting.
The man who owned the gorgeous property is named Mario. He was about 85 years old, a little over five foot and dressed in a straw fedora. Mario had more charisma than any boy at Fairfield and flirted with all the ladies. He would take one or even two girls by the hand and give them an exclusive little tasting of wine. It felt like an episode of “The Bachelor” and the pressure was on. After my 2 on 1 with Mario, I realized there was definitely a connection but I felt like he wasn’t committed and had to drop out of the race and temporarily sacrifice my dream of being a real housewife of Tuscany.
Regardless of my tragic loss, we took a tour of the vineyard, which was absolutely stunning. You could see hills for miles (a perfect Instagram background). Mario explained how the wine was made and aside from being captivated by his charm, I was truly interested in finding out how my favorite beverage was made.
Once the time for the tasting came, I put on my best connoisseur face and tried five different types of red. As someone who is accustomed to boxed, bagged or screw top wine, I was in for a shock. I’m not usually a red girl because I care too much about my pearly whites, but the stains were worth it. It tasted like liquid dessert so I immediately laid down my parent’s credit card to send them a nice present from their now-cultured daughter.
Unfortunately, we only spent a little time at the vineyard and it came time for Mario and his ladies to bid farewell. My housewife dream didn’t stop in the hills of Tuscany and continued at a day spa.
We went to a hot spring, which I pictured to look like a national park but instead looked like a really nice public pool. We all sat down in the warm (poor advertising) spring and immediately smelled like eggs. The lady at the desk told us that it’s the natural smell of the springs and quite frankly, I was disturbed. Teresa Giudice, an icon of the Real Housewives, would never sit in warm egg water. Since I’m only a lesser known tri-state area icon, I would have to settle for this.
As much fun as it is traveling around Europe, I would definitely recommend staying in Italy for a few weekends. There are hidden gems of towns all over the Tuscan region that are easily accessible from Florence.
Take my word for it and go to the hills of Tuscany where wine flows like water and the men are like Mario.
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