For those that may not know me, I have a huge sweet tooth. I regularly find myself stopping at the bookstore for a quick bag of candy or a chocolate bar. Growing up, I’d imagine that my dentists loved me for all the cavities I got. With that being said, I like to think I possess the ethos to rank my top 10 candies of all time.
To preface, my ranking will count down and I will be giving each candy a letter grade compared to all other types of candy for this amazing Halloween season.
- Reese’s Pieces
I like Reese’s Pieces. A lot. They just are very simple. This doesn’t knock it down any points by any means, I just like to think that they’re an M&M with less fun involved. Reese’s Pieces are a spin on the M&M-style of chocolate candies, instead employing peanut butter to fill the pieces.
They’re great, but not the greatest. They earn themselves a solid B+, which is passing above average.
- Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Cream
The third-best candy bar of all time has a unique flavor profile to it, and it is not one that a consumer of candy would commonly expect to find in their chocolate bar. However, the classic cookies and cream flavor is taken on in bar form with this candy bar.
Hershey’s does an excellent job of balancing the chocolate with the cookie pieces, and they don’t overpower the chocolate bar itself. Much to my chagrin, however, this candy bar doesn’t use white chocolate like I was led to believe, putting it at a very safe B+.
- Laffy Taffy
I hope my “B+” rating for the former candy wasn’t too harsh – but in my expert opinion I think there are only a few candies deserving of an A- rating or higher (stay tuned). Laffy Taffy, which comes from a brand called Ferrara Candy Company, is a well-established substitute for real saltwater taffy (which I have had no shortage of in my life, believe me).
With only a few flavors, they aren’t the most versatile, but their banana and strawberry flavors shine atop all others. The jokes on the back of the package round out Laffy Taffy at a respectable B+.
- Kit Kats
There is something so special about Kit Kats. They’re extremely easy to eat, they taste incredible and the wafer in the middle makes a solid crunch aspect. They are great to share, as well, because of the perforations that make them easy to break (cue their jingle).
Have you ever had Lemon Kit Kats? How about Orange? Have you tried their Green Tea Matcha flavor? If you ever have the chance to experiment with these, I cannot recommend them enough.
While writing this, I actually had Dots farther up on my list towards #10 but decided that they are too good to put that low. They are the gumdrops that everyone knows and loves and remembers especially when they get stuck in their teeth.
Despite this, they are an amazingly well-rounded candy: an innovative box that makes it extremely easy for consumers to pour them in their hand or share with friends, a few fruit-flavored pieces and a great color scheme. This makes it fun, visually appealing and also just pretty dang tasty. Dots are great, and they are very deserving of an A- (because I wish more came in the box).
- Mike and Ikes
I debated putting these higher, but the mere fact that I can’t finish a whole bag without feeling a little light-heading docks it a few points in my grade book. That isn’t to say that they are not incredible, I mean, I think they deserve to be this high based on flavor alone.
They have a few fruit flavors, but here the varieties stretch wider than people commonly know; their Mega Mix and their sour flavors are amazing, but I’m thinking about the original green box here. Remember when they started a marketing campaign that crossed out one of the names on each package to make people think Mike and Ike had a falling out? Yeah, me too. They get bumped to an A- for this. Any objections, Mike or Ike?
I can say pretty safely that Twix is the best chocolate bar to exist. I am a left-Twix person if you care. The package comes with not one, but two bars for your enjoyment; however, the bite-sized, individually-wrapped ones work just as well as a little snack.
The element of crunch here sets them atop other candy bars, because not only do they bring the flavor, but they bring an incredibly sticky yet solid texture that is bound to juxtapose with your taste buds. They will receive an A for me because they’re all around great.
The greatest chocolate candy of all time is M&M’s. I mentioned Reese’s Pieces on my list before and obviously, I love both, however, you’ll remember that I alluded to Reese’s Pieces’ somewhat mundane features. With M&Ms, there is variety upon variety for you to choose from.
Are you in a peanut mood? Grab some peanut M&Ms. Are you craving a cookie, but don’t want to spend all that time making them? Crispy M&Ms are fantastic. And hey, the possibilities are endless. It’s the fall, so you can hunt for some Pumpkin Spice M&Ms, Coffee Nut M&Ms or even Candy Corn M&Ms (yes, they exist).
The variety sets M&Ms so far above any chocolate candy I’ve ever had, and therefore, will receive an A. The only reason I dock points is that when you hold them for too long in a handful, the colors of the chocolate casing will get all over your hand.
- Hot Tamales
I wouldn’t be true to myself if I didn’t include Hot Tamales so high on this list. And yes, I am aware that people will be annoyed about me putting them this high on the list.
To present a counter argument to my haters, Hot Tamales perfect the flaws of Mike and Ike, and I’ll go so far as to say they improve on the idea of Good & Plenty as well. The key is that you can’t, and don’t, get sick of them. They are spicy, but they don’t lose their heat. They are flavorful but never lose their flavor. They take the texture, the chewiness and the shape of a Mike and Ike and turn it into something far better than its fruity-flavored twin.
Hot Tamales are my second favorite candy of all time, and they’d slot in at number one with ease if they weren’t so difficult to find in stores, movie theaters and concession stands. They receive an A in the grade book.
- Sour Patch Watermelon
Behold, the king of all candy. Sour Patch Watermelon is simple, fruit-flavored, yet packs a powerful punch. Whenever I’m at the movie theater, I skip the popcorn and soda and go straight to Sour Patch Watermelon.
They are tasty, soft and chewy, and provide one of the best candy experiences of all time. The taste is somewhat far from the real taste of watermelon, however, I’ll give them a pass because they look like little watermelon slices.
Take my advice this Halloween season: go get yourself a bag of Sour Patch Watermelon. You deserve it. The candy slots in at an A+ and passes with flying colors.
And that is my list. Yes, the common trend here is that I prefer sweet and sour candy over chocolate, but that is just my personal preference. I’d like to give shoutouts to Butterfinger, York Peppermint Patties, Skittles, Starburst and all the other legendary candies that did not crack my list, but should surely be on your list for this Halloween. Happy trick or treating!