So here is some friendly advice from your iPhone Guy for navigating the tricky nights ahead. Halloween weekend is quite possibly one of the greatest weekends for college students. It has everything that you would ever want in a weekend at college. Girls who feel this is their one weekend to dress like sluts, an excuse to wear rollerblades all night, and a reason to buy an insane amount of candy (Four Lokos). Not to mention FUSA planned a concert this weekend. Who would have thought they would be promoting the drunken debatury that will follow.


Guys when it comes to deciding which costume you should wear it really doesn’t matter. Girls fixate on costumes so much that we can’t compete so don’t bother. SHE SAID just rips apart every guy costume, what is wrong with Top Gun or even rocking The Ducks Jersey and being Charley Conway (Thats my back up so I better not see any of you in it this weekend).  Any effort is more effort than most guys will be putting into their weekend.

However, there is something to be said about guys that put a legit costume together, mainly because guys usually just don’t give a shit and aren’t creative. As far as cross dressing goes, think really hard about it before you do, it is not always as funny as you might think. I really don’t want to see you in a school girl skirt or worse a Lady Gaga costume is just creepy. Also, “Dick in A Box” nobody finds it funny.

Guys, we can repeat costumes, don’t worry or fuss.  As far as a costume to the FUSA concert, I say don’t do it period.

Costumes To Avoid

When going out on Halloween more important then your own costume is how you navigate the opposite sexes costumes. Clearly every guys list is topped with sexy (what ever profession was in the last porno they watched). So girls take SHE SAIDS advice show that wild side (her wild side involves putting down a blackberry for five whole minutes so be a bit wilder)

So while we appreciate the sexy costumes one must give credit to girls who managed to be slightly more creative while still looking good. Sorry though white trash hunter doesn’t cut it, sexy statue of liberty however is spot on. Just like profile pictures, girls can use Halloween costumes to their advantage. Black and white photos and group pictures can be just as deceiving as those slutty costumes, so be warned. Last note of wisdom from all my years, if she is a football player with eye paint, just remember it will end up on your face and everybody will know.


Friday, Saturday and Sunday are Halloween, so don’t think about wearing a costume on Wednesday to Flip Side or Thursday at the Grape. Go out Sunday, it’s College and who is to stop you, just remember you can’t buy alcohol in this state on Sunday. Vista, NY anyone?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.