HE Said…

It does not matter if you broke up with her or if she broke up with you what matters is the fact that you are now single. What do you do now? My advice is to recapture your animal instincts and male tendencies by doing “guy stuff.”

“Guy stuff” is what is going to get you back into the dating scene and make you feel more like a man after a relationship where you found yourself saying “Its ok if we go see the romantic comedy.”

First step: go outdoors into the deep woods alone. Here you find yourself acting more primitively and the testosterone will start flowing. Surround yourself with wild animals. You won’t be thinking about your girl if you are worried a bear might want to make you into a late-night snack. Go “rough it ” for a few days building shelter, starting fire, and gathering food and then you are ready for the next step.

Second step: spend more time with your boys. They watched you slowly give up those boy’s nights out for cuddle time and you owe it to them to hang out. Take them to a steak house and order up the fattest and bloodiest prime rib available. You have to get back into their inner circle you were excluded from. She’s gone now, party like Tommy Lee.

Final step: go out and get down. The best way to get over getting dumped or to take your mind off of a girl you dumped is to meet other girls. Whatever you do, don’t let them see sadness in your eyes if you run across them at a club or anywhere else. Have the look of a stone cold machine with no emotions and only out to find someone – someone that is not your ex. If you should see your ex, pay no attention to her but rather to the hot girl next to her. You have the support of your boys now so have them act as blockers if your ex is trying to come up to you.

With this new found confidence and social status, you have all you need to get back into the game. Play hard!

SHE Said…

I have found whether you have just been dumped by the guy of your dreams or the nerd next door, any breakup will take a while to get over. Being dumped makes you lose your confidence and then it’s hard to get back into the groove as a single chick.

Everyone handles breakups differently, but I can tell you what not to do. Anytime I’ve been dumped for another girl, I try to quickly get a new guy. That way my ex will hopefully realize that I’ve moved on. But this doesn’t work because often my ex couldn’t care less, and now I’m in some relationship I didn’t want in the first place.

When I’m freshly broken up, I opt for the girlie route. Stay in a couple of nights and rent the most utterly depressing and romantic movies. My suggestion, “When a Man Loves a Woman.” It kills me every time, when Andy Garcia comes back in the end; I just close my eyes and pretend I’m Meg Ryan. This movie step is important because you can cry all you want in front of the TV without anyone else around.

Once I’m over the girlie part it’s time to move onto stage two. I usually don’t do the chocolate thing, though many girls swear by it. I don’t see the point in lying around and gaining fifteen pounds, you never want to bump into your ex with your new double-chin. Instead, try working out. It helps clear your head and gets out all the anger. Be tough and get pissed off.

After I’ve cried like a loser and done the bitter thing, it’s time for a change. This sounds crazy, but after every major breakup, I always dye my hair. You don’t need to be this drastic, but do something out of the ordinary, something you never would have done while you were with your ex.

As soon as you’ve started to move on, it’s time to go out and ooze with singleness. Just whatever you do when you bump into your ex, don’t cry. Don’t tell him you miss him and don’t ask him back. Come on, you’ve worked too hard to be pathetic!

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