“Do professors not check their email?”
“College is the only place where you pay for something and then hope it gets cancelled.”
“Wait, the health center isn’t in DSB…”
“When my roommate has headphones in, it is the perfect time for me to fart.”
“I hope I don’t have mono.”
“I’ve had four mental breakdowns already today.”
“Where do you even buy a Stags waffle maker?”
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