“I’m thinking of having a snowball fight in my dorm.”

“I think I’m starting to shed like a dog and I am not sure why.”

“DJ Khaled is lit. I want to be him.”

“Love that feeling of knowing my ex saw my fire selfie.”

“He’s tall. Is he on the basketball team?”

“Thanks, Fairfield, for getting my hopes up about snow from three days ago with these late emails.”

“Night sledding is the best sledding.”

“It really sucks being the ugly roommate.”

“This week has been filled with stupid Jonas Brothers jokes in regards to the snow.”

“I told my parents fall semester grades don’t come out until the end of the year and they bought it.”

“Let’s take a moment of silence for all the poor animals that died to be turned into this crap.”

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